The X-Files Revival is Wonderfully X-Filey

The first episode of the new mini-series was distilled X-Files. The very purest silliness with badges and fancy suits. Aliens! Alien Babies! A woman who had little bits scooped out of her belly for alieny reasons. The script was a Frankenstein’s monster of previous plots and dialogue, but that only helped submerge viewers directly in the essence of the X-Files. Scully and Mulder returned as the powerful characters we love. Why not bask in a glorious montage of X-fileness, reshot with new backgrounds and better lighting!

I don’t think the critical critics of the premiere of The X-Files shiny new mini-series are being honest with the internet. They have a list of issues with the opening episode, as if those issues aren’t actually why we love the X-files.

Over-complicated dialogue? Well, that is how Mulder talks when he’s excited. If he isn’t referencing everything they know, then I get very lost. Also Scully has to prove she has a medical degree regularly, or we might forget why she is always cutting into bodies.

Crazy Conspiracies?  The magic of this show is never knowing for certain if Mulder isn’t just nutso. It’s why we have to “believe” and why when he really gets going Scully is always moments away from an eye roll. Anyone looking for a realistic drama, keep moving, nothing to see here. If there weren’t crazy conspiracy theories, then Mulder would just be a boring law enforcement officer. Don’t we have enough of those kind of shows?

Sexual Tension! All right, so no one complained about the tension, but they were upset that Scully and Mulder aren’t still together. Why waste that powerful Mulder and Scully chemistry on a healthy, supportive relationship? The next X-files revival can have them as an old married couple. Right now, I feel more comfortable with some good and sexy tension.

Alien Alienness! How can you bring back the X-Files without aliens? All right — maybe there was no reason to have Mulder find a spaceship and look like a giddy five-year-old when it floated… except, oh wait! To see Mulder find a spaceship and look like a giddy five-year-old! Entertainment!

Finally, the most universal criticism of the premiere episode of the X-Files mini-series was that it had a structurally unsound script that bounced all over. Yes, it absolutely did. However, let’s remember two important things: One, Mulder is often manic. He gets overtaken by mania and he bounces around. He has a theory. He talks to people in a crazy way about his theory. Then he talks to more people in a crazy way about his theory. He hatches a plan, and recruits everyone to his crazy plan. Then there is the execution of the crazy plan. It is a show with a character who isn’t linear. We should respect that. And the second thing to remember: Who cares about the internet’s issues? It was fun as hell to watch!

In closing, I think Scully and Mulder are even sexier now than they were in the original run. Now stop reading silly online reviews and go watch the X-Files mini-series!