Shannis Reacts: The Walking Dead, S7 Ep 4, “Service”
SPOILERS!
MORE SPOILERS!
AND A FEW MORE SPOILERS!
Oh god you guys. It’s a 90-minute episode. I honestly don’t know if I can survive 90 minutes of this after the week we’ve all had.
We open on Michonne and Rick, awkwardly sleeping. I feel like all sleeping would be awkward after the Abraham and Glenn get killed incident.
Michonne’s got other plans for the morning though. They involve heavy weaponry.
I feel like this purple tank is a new color for her.
Bearded Rick is kinda hot. It’s true. Salt and pepper. I’m down.
Why is it always summer on this show? Like, I get that Georgia is a hot place but they still have a type of winter. And Alexandria is in the DC area. There is for sure fall and winter and rainy spring in DC. So what is with this super duper hot summer in literally every single episode? I mean, I feel like adding some rain would drive home how badly this all sucks.
“I don’t believe I’d be up to that.” Eugene. Okay.
Negan’s early. And irritating as usual.
So irritating.
Oh look. They dragged Daryl along with them.
Ads! My fave.
This is really irritating, this Negan crap. I’m not sure I can stand an entire season of this. He never stops talking.
I think my husband has that same shirt that Rick’s wearing.
Oh good. They’re taking all the weapons.
I guess that’s why Michonne left with weapons? To hide them? It seems like that should have been the plan all along. Although the Negan people did show up early. I feel like smarter people would have planned for this.
Rosita is displeased by the order from Dwight to go find Daryl’s bike. Dwight just don’t care.
Watching this show makes me think in a redneck accent.
Michonne is just sitting on a rusted out old car. Wasting shots on a redheaded zombie.
See, now that kill is why I don’t eat while I’m watching this show.
There’s a dead deer in the woods. Michonne looks upset.
I don’t get it.
Ads. My favorite Matthew McConaughey ad for… something.
Negan is talking about his balls again. Like anyone wants to hear about that.
Is anyone out there on Negan’s side? Maybe some of you are rooting for Negan.
Father Gabriel IS creepy as shit. This is the only thing I will ever agree with Negan on.
So they pretended Maggie and Sasha are dead. Clever. And it turns out it was Creepy Father Gabriel’s idea. The one time he’s made himself useful.
Carl is acting the badass. At least someone is.
I mean, I get being pissed that he’s taking all your medicine but COME ON. How come no one considered this at all? How come no one considered that MAAAAAYBE Negan wasn’t really to be trusted? This is just yet another stupid move on the part of the Rick team.
Ads. Again with the Newt Scamander movie. I hope it turns out to be really good because there has not been a single movie this year that I’ve been genuinely excited over once it was over. It’s depressing. I need a proper blockbuster that I can get behind. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve enjoyed most of the movies I’ve seen this year. But they haven’t stuck in my head the way movies usually do.
So much salt and pepper beardery happening in these scenes between Negan and Rick. I would dig it if Negan weren’t so irritating.
So Negan’s letting them keep all their crappy food, but he’s going to take all the guns. Big surprise.
Rosita and the tall guy are at the railroad tracks looking for Daryl’s bike. I feel like every time they go to the railroad tracks, bad things happen.
Now we’re missing two handguns. Negan is like the most irritating bean counter in the history of zombie shows.
Now see. I don’t believe for a second that Negan doesn’t enjoy killing women.
God. SO MANY ADS. Network execs be like, “Oh heyyy, 90-minute episode! Let’s put in MORE ads!”
Rick’s up here in church preaching to everyone to turn over the two guns so Olivia doesn’t get killed and everyone’s looking like NOPE.
And this one guy asks how they’re going to get out of this. And Rick’s like, we aren’t. Such a great, inspiring leader.
Back to Rosita and the tall guy in the forest, bickering about guns. Well, first she offs a handful of walkers then takes a gun off one of them, and then the tall guy comes over to pester her about it. And she asks if he’s going to tell and he makes a face like he’s not sure and she makes a face like she knows he’s a weakass punk.
I mean, he’s Deanna’s son, so.
MORE ADS. Also a Passage segment. 30 seconds a week means it’s going NOWHERE fast.
Also let’s be real: Most people would kick Ariana Grande out of their car.
Rick is peeking out the window and now he’s tearing the tall guy’s house apart, trying to find the missing guns. Father Gabriel is all, “It’s going to be okay.” WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT THIS WEEK? Shut up, Father Gabriel. Why is he even still alive??
SPENCER. That’s the tall guy’s name. Never trust a guy named Spencer.
Rick found the missing guns. Hidden well away. In Spencer’s house.
Now the ugly chubby Negan dude is picking on Carl’s girlfriend, who wants to keep some balloons. Can you just, like, let the poor child have her damn balloons? What the hell?
Negan wants to know who it was that hid the guns. Rick’s like, nah. Negan’s like, yeah. Olivia’s like, TELL HIM SO I DON’T EFFING DIE!
Matthew McConaughey is sitting in his Lincoln again. He looks very satisfied. My mom had a Lincoln for a couple of years and went back to a Toyota Camry because she wasn’t super stoked about her Lincoln. Matthew loves his though.
Oh, an ad for Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk. This movie got terrible reviews. And I’m not surprised. It looks bad. Real bad.
You guys. I don’t understand about gas in the zombie apocalypse. How do they keep fueling up these cars and trucks? Is there someone who’s capable of forcing their way into gas tanks to get to the gas? It seems like that would require heavy equipment. I just… I don’t get it.
Michonne has the dead deer. Negan just wants the rifle. Lolz.
Rick tries to keep Daryl. Daryl won’t speak so Negan’s like, nah.
Oh. Negan does want the deer.
And Rosita and Spencer brought back Daryl’s bike. For Dwight. So he can taunt Daryl with it. Or become Daryl. Whichever. You’ll never be Daryl, asshole.
This episode is boring, y’all.
It’s so boring that I looked up Daryl photos again and check this out — do you guys know about Polyvore? Where you can plan your daily outfits based on different themes or inspired by characters or whatever? You see a lot of these on Pinterest if you look at clothes there. And apparently, there is a whole Daryl Dixon-inspired underground on Polyvore:
This kind of begs the question: Why DOES Daryl have so many great clothing pieces in the middle of the zombie apocalypes? Also, I can actually imagine girls dressing like that at country music festivals.
Negan’s talking about his dick again. I bet he has a micropenis. Otherwise he wouldn’t need Lucille. Or talk about it so often.
Honestly this ad where Peyton Manning talks about UC Health is more interesting than this episode of The Walking Dead.
I’m pretty sure the episode itself is actually like 65 minutes and the remaining 25 minutes is ads.
So let’s make a prediction about Daryl: I think he will play ball with Negan, but he will eventually snap out of it and come back to help Rick and the gang.
Remember that show LOST and how in season 2 they tried to foist a bunch of new characters from the plane on us that we KNEW weren’t there all along and there were Paolo and Nicki? Spencer and Rosita feel like Paolo and Nicki to me. Rosita is pointless now that Abraham’s gone.
Also the Negan gang took all their mattresses. Super uncool.
Rick’s telling Michonne about Shane. And how he knows Judith isn’t his. And how he had to accept it. And how that means Michonne has to accept that this is their life now. And Michonne knows it’s bullshit.
That’s a big admission for Rick though. Even if he’s using it to make a b.s. point.
So later on, Michonne’s alone in the hunting field again. And then she sees or senses something. And it’s a mattress fire. They took all the mattresses, just to set them on fire. And now Michonne is PISSED.
And then Rosita knocks on Eugene’s door and asks him to make her a bullet. Just one. WHO IS IT FOR?
Next week looks slightly more exciting, with the return of the Hilltop people and Jesus and stuff.
This week’s installment of Daryl In Happier Times:
