Shannis Reacts: The Walking Dead, S7 Ep 2: The Well

Here we go — my reactions while watching this week’s episode of The Walking Dead. SPOILERS ABOUND. I can’t even stress this enough. SPOILERS. About the WHOLE THING. Don’t read this before watching the episode if you’re not down with spoilers. Please. We implore you. 

CAROL!

She needs medical help.

Clearly.

The old lady isn’t real, Carol.

OMG HORSES!

This is some fine Four Horsemen imagery. It’s getting all Biblical up in here.

Bloody Morgan.

Nothing can possibly go wrong in a place called The Kingdom.

OMG EZEKIEL!

I totally forgot about Ezekiel and his awesome af tiger.

“Sheba”. Simmer down, tiger.

King Ezekiel.

Nothing ever goes wrong in Walking Dead land when people give themselves fancy titles like “King” or “Governor” or whatever.

Carol be like, “This is a joke, right?”

OH. It’s SHIVA. Not Sheba.

Hahahahaha it’s fun when Carol pretends to be playing along.

Maybe she’ll make cookies and wear a cardigan again.

DON’T EAT THAT FRUIT, CAROL.

Especially not the pomegranate.

It’s true. Pomegranates ARE more trouble than they’re worth. The only time I’m into messing about with pomegranates is when I’m drunk and it seems like a really great idea. Otherwise I just buy the super expensive pomegranate seeds already pulled from the fruit.

I just don’t trust fruit in any kind of slightly Biblical scenario. I don’t know. Carol doesn’t either. OBVIOUSLY.

I like Ezekiel though.

“You’re shitting me, right?” This is why I adore Carol.

Morgan annoys me. Who likes Morgan and why? I really want to know.

Pigs eating up a zombie. This is like that one really gross Criminal Minds episode with the pig farm.

Oh look. A beady-eyed white man. This’ll be fine. Nothing ever goes wrong on this show when there is an angry, resentful white man.

Actually that’s also a lesson about life.

I like how everyone is dressed up like knights. Like it’s just some afternoon of LARPing.

Apparently Ben didn’t practice SUPER hard. That kill could have gone better.

Is the pigs eating the dead some kind of metaphor for where our meat comes from?

Here’s an ad for LIFE. What even is this movie? Is Ryan Reynolds an astronaut? What is happening right now?

Whatever. I’m gonna get a snack.

I like how Ezekiel tries to sound all Shakespearian. “Your skill with the staff!” You can just ask him how he learned, Zeke.

Morgan’s like, Benjamin is a dumbass. I don’t want to train him.

This is weird. It’s fun when The Walking Dead gets all weird. Because it’s already weird af.

Weird choral version of “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right”. Isn’t this the same song that ended the first season?

My husband has pointed out that it was “Tomorrow Is A Long Time” that ended the first season. SCHOOLED.

Seriously these Chex treats I made are super delightful. I’ll share the recipe.

So I totally get why you might want to have a choir during the zombie apocalypse. But maybe make the selections more uplifting.

Breakfast cobbler!

OMG Carol.

This singer’s voice is suuuuuper irritating.

NO, BENJAMIN. No borrowing of the book.

Don’t do it, Morgan.

He let him borrow the book. I hope he wrote his name in it or he’ll never see that book again. That’s how people are.

“We have matters of import to discuss.” WELL. All right then.

Hahahahahahaha OMG King Ezekiel is feeding contaminated pigs to the Negan people.

“I know who they are.” Morgan will not be mansplained to by a lady wearing fake knight armor.

Wait. Is this an ad for another show, or some random other group on The Walking Dead??

Oh. It’s Passage. A spinoff. Let’s talk about Walking Dead spinoffs some other time. Or let’s don’t, since I think they are stupid.

This iPhone ad with all the balloons is not a really great indicator of what the phone can do.

This long-haired Friend of Negan looks like my ex-boyfriend from high school and college.

Benjamin is not okay with this.

Benjamin is in training to become a problem, isn’t he?

Suck it, Friends of Negan.

These Kingdom people are OBSESSED with fruit and vegetables. The Friends of Negan are all, “Next week is produce week” and the Kingdom people are all making faces like, “Ah hell naw!”

It’s interesting how every group has a different name for the Walkers. The Kingdom calls them “the Wasted”.

Well, maybe Morgan’s not that bad. He’s much more likable here than anywhere else.

Carol’s not in her bed. Big surprise.

Just let her go, Morgan.

I’m going to have another Chex treat.

Doctor Strange looks… irritating.

Holiday ads are already starting. Can we… not?

Carol’s walking alone in the dark. OR IS SHE?

Nope. She’s not.

King Ezekiel has some thoughts though.

He sees right through her.

This is so awkward.

She just called the Kingdom a joke.

“People want someone to follow.” He’s right. Even I agree with that.

Real Talk With King Ezekiel.

Basically he just felt sorry for that tiger and saved her so she wouldn’t die. He is all of us and cats.

Here is the trouble with this show though: This scene was really nice for the first 3-4 minutes. BUT NOW IT HAS BEEN GOING ON FOREVER AND HE WON’T. STOP. TALKING.

And THEN, a really, really nice moment. Carol says, “Why do you care?” and Ezekiel says, “Because it makes me feel good.” And it’s really nice.

I just wish it hadn’t been after five minutes of nonsense.

In a really bizarre juxtaposition, we now have Matthew McConaughey talking about Wild Turkey.

It’s terrible watching television live in 2016. Ads are the literal worst.

At least there are no political ads though! #smallmercies

Oh Chris Hardwick looks less weepy this week in his promo for The Talking Dead. That’s nice.

Between my husband and me, we are going to polish off the entire pan of Chex treats in one evening.

More Matthew McConaughey. This time for Lincoln.

I mean, I find it weird that studies showed that Matthew McConaughey would be such an outstanding ad influence on people, but apparently he makes people want to drink… and drive… wait.

HORSES! Here we go. Carol’s leaving the Kingdom.

Are they letting Carol take a horse with her?

This is a terrible idea. She’ll get that horse killed

How do they even know how to ride, anyway?

These two horses look sort of mortified to be here. All like, “They wouldn’t pick us for Westworld. We got stuck in the zombie show.”

No hugging? I thought we’d at least get a bro hug between Morgan and Carol as they part ways.

And no. She doesn’t get a horse.

Don’t go inside the creepy house, CAROL.

Is she just going to… live there?

She is. She’s just moving in, tidying up the graveyard, building a fire, AS ONE DOES.

Why does this house have a graveyard?

Don’t answer the door, Carol!

Wait. Does King Ezekiel have a certain gleam in his eye or am I imagining things?

I mean, it’s fine. I ship it. And then someday he and Daryl can duke it out for her.

Oh great. Scenes from next week on the all-new “Let’s torture Daryl” show. This already sucks and it’s a whole week away.

All right! That’s all I’ve got. Anyone else have any thoughts about this week’s episode?

Also, here is the recipe for the Mexican Hot Chocolate Chex Treats. The process is like Rice Krispies treats, except with different flavors of Chex cereal. I made mine on the stove instead of in the microwave (that seemed like a recipe for a big mess), and I skipped the chocolate drizzle on the top because I had issues with my chocolate (it burned. Such a waste!). They didn’t need it. Oh — and as far as the cayenne pepper goes, I’d err more on the full teaspoon side of things than a half teaspoon. And add a dash more cinnamon, for fun.

P.S. Khary Payton, the guy who plays Ezekiel, is super hot. I mean…

I’ve got a shirtless one too but I’m sure no one wants to see that.