New Fall TV shows

The new fall TV shows are pretty bad, alright very bad, with a few exceptions. One exception being Con Man, which isn’t even on TV, it’s on the internet. TV Networks, all that money and you can’t beat out a show regular people produced, that is airing online? Just embarrassing. Next up, I’d like to produce more episodes of Hollywood Hitmen, please. Someone put together a Kickstarter for that?

Con Man (Vimeo) I declare Con Man to be the clear winner of new fall 2015 shows. By a landslide of silliness. Every single actor in this show is so perfect for their insanely odd part, that I kind of wonder if all science fiction and fantasy actors really are just crazy. Kind of makes sense. Everyone you love is in this show. All you fans of Firefly, Battlestar Galactica, Lord of the Rings, The Guild. You better watch this show or your other nerd friends will laugh at you.

The Bastard Executioner (FX) The pilot started off as an unfocused mass introduction of characters. It did find some focus, but it makes me worry that the whole season will be a million characters coming and going, clogging up my brain. I put up with that in Game of Thrones only because there is Tyrion and dragons. Like Game of Thrones, this show will take some investment, but who knows, maybe it’ll have some decent pay off. If the next episode doesn’t spend the first thirty minutes confusing me, I may continue to watch.

Blindspot (NBC) I imagine that a boardroom decided that combining blacklist with the prison break tattoo idea would make a brilliant show. The writers worked to turn it into a story, but it is contrived. The one bright spot in the show is Jamie Alexander (Lady Sif). However, this show tests the theory that I would watch her in anything. It really tests it. The premise seems to be solving crimes hinted at in her tattoos, while she searches for missing memories of who she was before she showed up naked and afraid in Time Square. I’ll watch it, because Jamie Alexander is perfect and wonderful, but honestly, I wish they’d created a better show concept for her. ABC, why didn’t you make a Lady Sif spin off? Complete fail.

 The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy Central) Trevor Noah is perfect. Why didn’t I see it before with his very awkward stand-up special? He spends most of the first episode making fun of himself and his point of view. Phew. The Daily Show is going to be just fine.

Heroes Reborn (NBC) This show really is stylistically like season one Heroes. Lots of characters, drama, and occasionally it’s playful. The problem with it being so close to original heroes is that it makes me wonder if this time will be different. Will it be able to progress the plot this time, or just flail around again. I’m going to give it a few more episodes because the katana girl story has been fun, but I fully expect them to ruin that.

Indian Summers (PBS) Characters! Characters with personality, ambitions, wants, needs, and dialogue! So people-like you almost forget you’re just watching TV! It is 1832. The British hold over India is waning, but I don’t think the British know that yet. They’re vacationing and drinking. I’m going to watch every episode. Already I have favorite characters. It is embarrassing how easily I am won over by good writing and acting!

Limitless (CBS) The idea of someone taking intelligence-enhancing drugs just to solve individual crimes seemed silly in the trailers, (doesn’t the world have bigger problems to solve?), but the pilot showed that the main character wants to help people any way he can, and crime solving will probably just be his day job. That is a much better concept. The pilot took the time to develop the main characters. I hope that trend continues. This could be a great show if it doesn’t just become another procedural. I am getting so sick of crime shows at this point. Networks should have to cancel two for every new one they start. This is a hopeful alien. Don’t crush its dreams by making this just a crime show.

Minority Report (Fox) This pilot was just awkward to watch. The writing and acting seemed forced. The foreshadowing involved large hammer blows. Although the main characters had lots of screen time, I don’t feel like I know anything about them except, of course, that they’d like to solve crime together. If it were any other network, I might watch one more episode, but let’s be realistic. Fox will wait until it starts to get good, then cancel it. I’ll never know what is on the other side of the wall in Almost Human, Fox. Never. Sigh.

The Muppets (ABC) I know this show will get good. It is the MUPPET SHOW! It has to be good. Episode one was too much like reality TV, and not even funny reality TV. Come on, Muppets! Get it together! It’s time to get things started on the Muppet Show tonight!

The Player (NBC) A tragic event drives a man to become part of a secret gambling ring where he attempts to stop crime, while rich people bet. Uh, sure. The best part of this is how over the top Wesley Snipes is, and how corny every gambling phrase and reference is. I can see watching this show on mute for eye candy, the main actor is attractive and often undressed. That’s about it. Or maybe a drinking game. He just used another casino term. DRINK!

Quantico (ABC) According to this show Quantico is a lot like a freshman dorm, focused on sex, catching each other naked, and popularity. The main actress is great, but the writing is all over. It starts as a flashback from the main characters’ POV, but then quickly starts showing things she wasn’t there for. This will probably be a very fun show if you don’t think too much about it.

Scream Queens (Fox) Comedy Horror! Finally you can watch the superficial characters you hate get killed off as soon as you decide they should get killed of. Although, some they are holding off on, probably for better comedy effect. It does have slow moments, when no one is saying anything hilariously dumb, or being murdered, but at least I don’t have to bother liking anyone in this show. I’m sure at this rate they’ll all be dead by the end of sweeps.

Did I miss anything good? Am I completely wrong? Do you want a Lady Sif spinoff? Comment!