Life’s Too Short to Read Bad Detective Novels

Let’s just get this on the table right now: You’re going to hear the Sisters In Geek talk a lot about addiction. But not, like, drug or alcohol or sex addiction. It’s going to be more like, “We are addicted to all of the things like books and comics and movies and superheroes and games and Funko Pop toys and dragons and…”

Sorry. But we are addicted to things. And one of my addictions is detective novels.

My addiction to detective novels was a natural progression from the years I spent obsessing over Harry Potter. Some people might have found their solace at the ending of the Harry Potter book era in the world of fantasy books, others by immersing themselves in YA dystopian and paranormal fiction, still others moving on to Outlander, or even to paranormal romance. Me? I was looking for something more… well, more British than all of that. I wanted a voice that sounded like it came from somewhere inside the United Kingdom (I was not choosy about specific locales), and I wanted quintessentially English backdrops, and talk of full English breakfasts and phrases like “faffing about”.

And if you think about it, Harry, Hermione and Ron were kind of starring in detective stories all along – nearly all seven books had a mystery they had to solve, as part of the overarching grander mission of the series as a whole. My initial attraction to Harry Potter stemmed, at least in part, from a childhood filled with the Bobbsey Twins, and Nancy Drew, and Encyclopedia Brown (did other girls read those or was that just me?). There was something about the first three books that read like books about young detectives and so it was partly out of nostalgia that I picked them up in the first place. And it was never really the magic that kept me coming back for more – it was the writing, the characters, the laughs, the vivid settings.

So post-Harry Potter, the things I was looking for in books were a tall order. But I found them in detective novels. And let’s be real: the body counts in murder mysteries don’t even approach Harry Potter levels. In the beginning, I stuck primarily to British authors and British detectives, but eventually I expanded my horizons to places like Italy and Greece and Canada.

I’ve learned a few things from reading these books: Learn some basic self-defense skills. Always check the back seat of your car before you get in. Always carry a weapon that you know how to use when you go to meet a potential bad guy alone. And? Life is too short to read bad detective novels. So, if you’re in need of a book fix, check out some of these:

Adam Dalgliesh, by PD James. I actually cried when PD James passed away earlier this year. Her series about Scotland Yard detective Adam Dalgliesh was my first post-Potter foray into detective novels and I have never regretted my time spent reading any of her books. There were fourteen books in this series at the time of her death, and she had also written a few volumes in a spin-off series, as well as a couple of standalones (including the Pride and Prejudice fanfic, Death Comes to Pemberley). Her writing is filled with the kinds of details often missing in mediocre detective fiction, and she created characters you can always relate to – which in some cases is horrendously disturbing. Start this series with Cover Her Face.

Alex Delaware series, by Jonathan Kellerman. Alex Delaware isn’t a detective per se – he’s a psychiatrist who consults to the LAPD on murder cases that require profiling. Mostly he works with a grumpy detective named Milo Sturgis, and the cases can get pretty grisly, which I dig. Sometimes there are serial killers! Obviously this is not British in any way, shape, or form, but I started reading the series when I was pregnant with my son and can’t quit them. Kellerman has written a spin off series about another detective, as well as a few standalone novels that are also quite good. In this series, he’s just published the 30^th volume, so if you’re into it, it can keep you busy for a while. Start with When The Bough Breaks.

Commissario Brunetti, by Donna Leon. These books take place in Venice, and the detail of Brunetti’s work and everyday life in that most fascinating of Italian cities are so addicting that it’s easy to forgive Leon for occasional transgressions into the formulaic. The first several books were published in Europe before being made available in the U.S. so there are 24 volumes in the series. Start with Death at La Fenice.

 Cormoran Strike, by Robert Galbraith (wink wink, nudge nudge). It’s early days with just two volumes published in this series, but I think the compelling cases and the characters of Cormoran Strike and his assistant Robin were enough to cement it on my list of must-reads. And it rather proves my point about how one is meant to follow up Harry Potter with detective fiction. If you get what I mean. Start with The Cuckoo’s Calling.

Inspector Armand Gamache, by Louise Penny. Louise Penny’s series about Chief Inspector Gamache of the Surete de Quebec has the most in common with the work of P.D. James, both in style and tone. She allows the stories and the mysteries to unfold slowly, letting the reader into the lives of the characters in the small Quebec town of Three Pines. I have a literary crush on Jean-Guy Beauvoir. There. I said it. Start this series with Still Life.

Peter Decker/Rina Lazarus series, by Faye Kellerman. I discovered the writer wife of Jonathan Kellerman in the library one day – their books are shelved next to one another (imagine that!). Faye Kellerman writes about a different branch of the LAPD, featuring a murder investigator named Peter Decker and his wife Rina. Decker’s home life as an Orthodox Jew is central to the story and it’s been fun following along as his family grows up. This series just saw the publication of the 22^nd book, with a 23^rd to follow in October 2015. It amuses me to imagine the Kellermans trying to one-up each other with grisly death scenes and publication deadlines. Start this series with The Ritual Bath. 

Precious Ramotswe, by Alexander McCall Smith. Smith is a Scot who grew up in Botswana and his No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series starring the incomparable Precious Ramotswe is set in that country, in a small city on the edge of the Kalahari Desert. Precious sets up as a private detective and goes about solving mysteries both large and small. This series is more about people and Africa than it is about murders and serial killers, and the voice of the central character is a delight. If you try these and like them, you’ll also be a fan of Smith’s other work, including the Isobel Dalhousie books and the 44 Scotland Street series. Start with The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency.

 Ruth Galloway, by Elly Griffiths. I was sad when I finished reading all the Inspector Gamache books so my friend gifted me the first book in this series about forensic archaeologist Ruth Galloway, a 40-something university professor who is called in to assist Norfolk police with their discovery of a set of ancient bones. My friend knew I would love them and I do – I haven’t stopped reading since beginning a week ago, and I’m nearly finished with the first six books in the series. Luckily the seventh comes out in May of this year, but I don’t what I’m supposed to read after that. Start this series with The Crossing Places.

Honestly I could probably go on for days because, you know… BOOKS! But I’m going to leave you now with a handful of other author suggestions, and a few that you might want to just skip, because life’s too short for bad detective novels.

 Honorable Mentions: Tasha Alexander’s Lady Emily mysteries; Anna Dean’s Dido Kent mysteries; Susanna Gregory’s Matthew Bartholomew mysteries; Ian Rankin’s Inspector Rebus series; Agatha Christie (obviously!); Arthur Conan Doyle (duh!); Edgar Wallace.

Proceed With Caution: Elizabeth George’s Inspector Lynley series (formulaic and racist in later volumes); Ruth Rendell’s Inspector Wexford books (dated sexism); Andrea Camilleri’s Inspector Montalbano series (a little hard-boiled for me, but still good reads); Petros Markaris’ Inspector Costas Haritos series (takes place in Athens, well written, but dour as hell).

Don’t. Just Don’t: Laura Lippman’s Tess Monaghan books (this annoying private detective is the one who prompted this list); Michael Connelly’s Harry Bosch novels (just because they’re best sellers doesn’t make them good – stick with the Amazon tv series). And finally, under no circumstances do I recommend that you ever read any of Jonathan and Faye Kellerman’s collaborative books. They are… not good.

So. I need something new to read. What are everyone else’s favorites??