10 Increasingly Absurd Game of Thrones Finale Predictions

Today’s the day everyone: the day this crazy 8 season, decades long journey comes to an end. With that in mind, we here at Sisters in Geek would like to present you with our predictions for tonight’s grand finale. In order of kind of likely to completely outrageous, here are our 10 final predictions for Game of Thrones.

1.

Dany is going to die. She might sit the Iron Throne first, but there is no way that this show ends with a ruler who has broken bad and has nothing but a dragon and superior fashion on her side. We’re not decided on how she dies, there’s too many options, but die she will.

2.

Poor Jon Snow is finally going to say “screw you guys, I’m going home” and walk off in the North and find Ghost. He will realize that no matter what he says, these people will not stop forcing greatness and leadership and honors on him that he never, ever wanted. The only way out will be to disappear, possibly by faking his own death.

3.

Sansa Stark will be crowned Queen in the North. This woman has been through all the seven hells and back again. She’s outlived all of her abusers, and seen them brought to justice (or justice adjacent). Her people are her cause, and Winterfell is her home. She will stay, rebuild and rule justly and kindly for the rest of her days.

4.

Arya Stark will perform one final service for her country by eliminating Daenerys, and then disappear across the Narrow Sea to Braavos, and become a true Faceless Woman. As much as she dreams of home, and peace, and her family, Arya will want to save Jon the pain of executing a woman he loves and will see this act as her final gift to her family.

5.

King Gendry Baratheon. He’s really going to need those fork lessons. Also, if he is crowned, I hope Arya stays in Westeros as his consort, councillor and occasional covert killer. Just don’t call her a Lady.

6.

This damn thing gets melted down in slag and no one ever sits on it ever again. Because SURPRISE! Dany abdicates and institutes a republic, a form of government that has never gone wrong for anyone ever.

7.

King Samwell Tarly, the first of his name, and his Queen Consort Gilly, of the North. Their reign will be soft, adorable and filled with educational reforms and everyone being nice to each other all of the time. I want to go there immediately.

8.

This meme is real. And it is glorious. I, for one, welcome our new Lannister elephant overlords.

9.

Sansa and Tyrion realize that, technically, they are still married and decide to give their marriage a chance, ruling the North together wisely. Their court becomes known for its great wit, incredible fashion and complete inability to take crap from anyone.

10.

King Hot Pie, of House Staarch, the First of His Name, Inventor of Sourdough, Raiser of Yeast, Baker of Breads and the Blesser of Butter. Rightful King of the Andals, and the First Men, Savior of the Realm and the fulfillment of Game of Thrones one true prophecy:

“King Bread ruled alone.”

What do you think will happen tonight as Game of Thrones comes to its end? Tell us in the comments, or follow us on Facebook and Twitter to join in the discussion! For each of these we get right, we’ll raise a glass. For each we get wrong, we’ll eat a cookie. Everyone wins.