Shannis Reacts: The Walking Dead, Season 7 Episode 10, “New Best Friends”

I have to dive right in because I’m so excited about at least one thing that happened on tonight’s episode! So…

Seriously. Every week. Every episode. We're gonna do this.

Seriously. Every week. Every episode. We’re gonna do this.

Opening shot of Ezekiel and some of his peeps waiting for some Saviors to show up and take their stuff. It’s a truck load of watermelon and fuel. The watermelon is in IKEA baskets.

tbh they must be Dulcinea watermelons because these baskets aren't that big.

tbh they must be Dulcinea watermelons because these baskets aren’t that big, which is cool because that’s like a “screw you” to the Saviors, who probably think they should get large watermelons and stuff! 

Greasy haired Savior demands Richard’s gun. A fistfight ensues. Ezekiel makes Richard give up the gun because Ezekiel still thinks he can keep the peace with these dipshits. Gavin the Savior makes threats to Ezekiel. Greasy haired Savior takes Morgan’s ninja stick. Morgan is pissed.

Back at the Kingdom, Ezekiel lectures Ben for being quick to fight. This is some nonsense. Like, a year or two into the zombie apocalypse, everyone needs to get on board with fighting to survive. I’m bored with these people who think diplomacy is the way to go. 

Anyway. Daryl shows up and wants to know where they went. He is unimpressed that Morgan is bleeding. They have a stare down. Daryl is all, Carol wouldn’t put up with this. Morgan is all, Carol left because she doesn’t want to kill anyone else. He won’t tell Daryl where to find her. 

Next Daryl goes to make friends with Richard. He is practicing archery. He lets Daryl have a turn. It’s nice to see Daryl with a crossbow in his hands again.

Hello, luvvah.

Hello, luvvah.

By the way: Can I just tell you how stupid it is to have a Richard on a show where a dude named Rick is the main character? It’s very stupid.

Ads. Beats by Dre with Nicki Minaj. Humans. Show looks bad — I watched three minutes of it the other night and it was just… not good. iPad. Naked chicken chalupa from Taco Bell. Just kill me now. Ads are so awful. What am I even doing with my life????

Snickers Crisper looks delightful though.

Mmmmm. Snickers!

Mmmmm. Snickers!

Richard shows Daryl his secret stash. They go out walking. On the highway. Because in the zombie apocalypse, you can do that without getting… oh wait. Haha. Anyway! They’re going to wait for Saviors to drive by and shoot them. Richard tells Daryl about Carol but doesn’t know Daryl knows her. He’s left a trail to her cabin with the weapons cache, with Carol as bait. Like, they’ll follow the trail to her cabin, and they’ll kill her, and since Ezekiel “cares for her”, Ezekiel will be angered enough to join Rick and the All Stars in their fight against the Saviors. Daryl knows it’s Carol. Also this plan is terrible and Daryl knows it. He takes Richard down. They engage in fisticuffs and then have a standoff and then Richard convinces Daryl to stand down and stick with the plan. Which still sucks, just saying. And then Daryl warns Richard that if anything happens to Carol, he’ll kill him. And then he leaves. Presumably to find Carol.

This is so convoluted. Richard is a terrible strategist and he looks like the Governor and has the same name as Rick. Seriously how the hell is anyone supposed to keep up with this nonsense? 

Ads ads ads.

There is an ad for Los Pollos Hermanos and I legit just spit my drink out. 

Thanks, AMC.

Back to the show. The Children of the Corn are back, leading Rick and the All Stars into a junkyard. There is some sort of effed up circle ritual happening. Just like in Children of the Corn! A lady with a really unfortunate haircut steps up to demand info.

For real, check this out:

She does not have a good stylist.

She does not have a good stylist.

I mean for real, who did she piss off in hair and makeup??
It's legit worse than the trash heap she calls her kingdom.

It’s legit worse than the trash heap she calls her kingdom.

Rick is all, show me Gabriel first. On our couch, we are all, no one cares about Gabriel.

Rick schools Bad Hair Day about the Saviors and tries to get her to team up. She says no.

Fight! Gabriel even holds a knife to some ugly chick’s neck! Then he gives them some preacher talk and takes a turn at trying to convince them.

It’s a terrible idea to team up with these people. I just want to throw that out there. Even if they change their minds and say okay, it’s a really terrible idea. 

The leader takes Rick up a hill of trash to look over her shitty area.

Everything the light touches is our kingdom, Simba.

Everything the light touches is our kingdom, Simba.

She yammers about stuff being difficult or some nonsense. This entire show is nonsense sometimes. God. 

Then she pushes him down the side of the trash heap. So that’s cool.

Ads. Call of Duty. Are all of these calls of duty different or what is the deal?

Back in Trashland, Rick is stuck in a pit with an extra creepy zombie with pointy armor.

Oh wow. That is... you got something on your head, man.

Oh wow. That is… you got something on your head, man.

Pointy Trash Zombie is ready for a snack. Rick doesn’t know what to do, given that he has no weapons and only a giant pile of trash at his disposal. Michonne has to coach Rick from the other side of a pipe through which she is watching. She’s all, “Use the heap!” It’s like Obi Wan Kenobi up in here. Rick does some stuff with the trash, gets a sharp object. He kills the creature and Bad Hair Day throws down a rope. He climbs back up and she says they want guns. Rick grins. He is a sick, sick man. He is also injured, on his hand and his leg. 

So they strike a deal. They will get a third of whatever guns Rick and the All Stars can find. She wants more but Rick says no. Her teeth are oddly good for someone with hair that bad. She claims her name is Jadis. I don’t buy it, mostly because people don’t really name their children things like… oh wait. Never mind. 

She takes her Corn children with her and Rick and the All stars are free to leave. Pook really, REALLY wants Rick to get a bandage first. Evil Rob is all, “It’s a terrible idea to get a bandage from these people. It’ll be covered in bacteria.” It’s a tough call for me. But he has a bandage by the time they leave. 

Ads. Are we someday going to stop allowing Matthew McConaughey to sell cars for Lincoln?

Already 7:45! This episode is going quickly.

FINALLY! Carol!

There is never enough Carol in this show.

The look on Carol's face right here is straight out of my own parenting playbook. She has no time for your SHENANIGANS.

The look on Carol’s face right here is straight out of my own parenting playbook. She has no time for your SHENANIGANS.

And Ezekiel and his men and one lady are outside, doing something and claiming that they tried to be quiet and not bother her. Carol isn’t buying your nonsense, you guys.

She just wants to read a damn book, you guys.

She just wants to read a damn book, you guys.

Jerry the Fat Samurai brought her a cobbler. He grins when she accepts. Everyone in my house falls instantly, irrevocably in love. This means he will probably die two episodes from now.

In real life, he is a Jewish Samoan named Cooper Andrews.

In real life, he is a Jewish Samoan named Cooper Andrews. Look at that face! 

Later Carol’s trying to read another book and someone else knocks on her damn door. WHO CAN IT BE.

The internet doesn’t disappoint when it comes to Daryl and Carol fan art, you guys.

IMG_1560a8755cfdbceaa6a49ee1cce686cf2634

Daryl and Carol by sairobi on deviantart

Daryl and Carol by sairobi on deviantart

Carol and Daryl Chibi Valentine by nasubionna on deviantart

Carol and Daryl Chibi Valentine by nasubionna on deviantart

Daryl and Carol Reunited by jadeddreams1 on deviantart

Daryl and Carol Reunited by jadeddreams1 on deviantart

Caryl by akimao on deviantart

Caryl by akimao on deviantart

by poppprocks on nanozine

by poppprocks on nanozine

by Ashlee Casey on reddit

by Ashlee Casey on reddit

I could do this all night. But I won’t. Just one more…

This one is my fave. For reasons.

This one is my fave. For reasons.

Anyway, obviously it’s Daryl at the door and they stare at each other for a good minute before they embrace. Me and Pook are crying. Just a little. But still. Totally crying.

Scene change! Rick and Gabriel are talking while they make everyone else pack the car. Guess who is still boring and annoying? Spoiler: It’s Gabriel. 

And then Rosita and Tara are bickering again. This is bullshit. At some point, this stuff wouldn’t matter to people anymore. Bickering and hating each other because they once hooked up with the same man. This is what men think all women do all day long though, isn’t it? This has always been the issue with this show: the male creators have no idea how to write women. And of all the women in the world, Rosita and Tara would be least likely to behave like this. So this is a stupid waste of time throwaway scene. 

Rick grabs a terrible trash sculpture for Michonne before they head out.

Ads. Kong: Skull Island. Meh. How many times are we going to remake this damn movie? 

Back at the cabin: Daryl and Carol are in her living room in front of a romantic fire.

Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier - The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 10 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier – The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 10 – Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

She tells him why she left the group — she doesn’t want to keep killing people because it’s killing her inside. Then she asks him if the Saviors came and if they hurt anyone. Daryl lies without hesitation and tells her everyone is all right. She gives him stew. He leaves after dark but first they hug again.

Do you think someday they’ll actually hook up? Maybe on the very last episode, the whole world is burning and they are the last ones left and they know they are not long for the world, and so they’re like, “Let’s just do this already,” and they get busy and that’s the last we ever see of them.

(Hey Walking Dead producers? I can write for you! Call me!)

Tiger! Daryl is bonding with her. Morgan comes in and compliments Daryl’s rapport with the tiger. Daryl is like, we need the Kingdom. You gotta make that happen. Morgan is all, I can’t. Daryl is annoyed. Morgan tells him they are alike and that he knows that Daryl didn’t tell Carol about Abe and Glenn or she would have come back with him, ready to fight. Daryl’s like, whatevs, get us the Kingdom, MORGAN. 

Daryl leaves for Hilltop in the morning.

Scenes from next week show Negan and Dwight picking on Eugene. Great. Like, Eugene is a wuss anyway. It’s not going to be any fun to watch Negan and Dwight pick on him. 

You guys. Pollyanna McIntosh (Jadis) is on the Talking Dead and her hair is not a whole lot better in real life. She is lovely though.

Remember Jordan in Real Genius? That's what this hair reminds me of.

Remember Jordan in Real Genius? That’s what this hair reminds me of.

 

And now for some gratuitous Norman Reedus. Because hell, why not?

Did you know that back in the 1990s, Norman Reedus was a model? He did a whole campaign for Prada. And I actually have vivid recall of this campaign because back in MY 1990s, I was writing a terrible book about a rock star and superstar pop singer, and I read a boatload of fashion magazines for inspiration, and the Norman Reedus Prada ads were included in my vision notebook (that’s what we used to have in olden times, before they invented Pinterest).

Anyway.

b9709d0d85dde393974f01a9f629bbb0

 

Sweet dreams, and see you next week for an episode that has to suck more than this one because Negan will be back and we all know how much Negan loves the sound of his own voice!!

Shannis Reacts: The Walking Dead, S7 Ep 3, “The Cell”

Pretty much my face for this entire episode.

Pretty much my face for this entire episode.

SPOILERS.

SPOILERS.

STILL SPOILERS.

This episode is called “The Cell” and I am super sad already because I think that means DARYL’S CELL.

Like, NO ONE should cage all the manly goodness that is Daryl.

It hasn’t even started and I am depressed and nervous.

Just rewatched the last ten minutes of last week’s. King Ezekiel is DEFINITELY hitting on Carol with that pomegranate.

“Who’s The Boss” and a little Style Council. Interesting.

Dwight is making a sandwich by stealing stuff from everyone else.

That sandwich looks delicious but screw lettuce. Lettuce ruins everything.

That’s right, Dwight. You can’t watch The Walking Dead and eat at the same time. It’s high time you’ve learned this lesson!

Dwight learns that The Walking Dead is a gross show.

Dwight learns that The Walking Dead is a gross, gross show.

Oh no.

No no. Don’t feed my man dog food.

And I’m pretty sure there were flax seeds in that bread. So if you gave this sandwich to ME, I would die AND be eating dog food.

I wonder what would happen if I told Dwight I had a flax allergy.

This is NOT what we meant when we said we wanted to see Daryl shirtless, assholes.

Ads. Some ad for a video game. Dishonored 2. Snore.

It’s cute how AMC still has movie marathons. No one needs that. It’s called NETFLIX.

Oh! A political ad. Interesting.

Back to Daryl. He is sort of sleeping. But they seem to be torturing him with terrible music.

I feel like Daryl has probably eaten dog food before this and turned out okay.

It’s really this crappy music that will do him in.

Oh nice. They gave him some clothes.

Sad Daryl is sad.

Sad Daryl is sad.

Uh oh. This can’t be good. Dwight has Daryl’s crossbow and he’s taking him somewhere.

Apparently there is a doctor in Negan Land.

And some woman who wants to be knocked up with Negan’s baby. Gross. This show is so super gross.

People kneel-bow when Negan comes around. Lame.

No, Dwight. You’re not getting the hang of anything.

Sigh. I feel like now we’re going to get Dwight’s backstory. And can I just tell you guys how much I do NOT give a rat’s ass about Dwight’s backstory?

Ads. Ads. Ads. Ads are the worst.

But not the Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare ad. Danny McBride calling Phelps a sea monkey never gets old for me.

Daryl and Dwight make actual eye contact. That’s not good.

He’s trying to find an escape route.

Negan is making fun of Dwight’s penis. This is so stupid.

And what a stunning surprise that there is some sort of thing going on in Negan Land where women are treated like whores and the men can just take what they want.

This is why people hate this show. Just in case it’s unclear.

Good god there are more ads than ever during this show tonight.

Is Dwight, like, secretly in love with Daryl? Riding his bike. Stealing his weapon. I mean, I don’t blame him if he is. But come on.

The chubby dude left Daryl’s cell unlocked. But let’s be real: He did it on purpose.

Now Dwight is in the midst of a bunch of walkers who got hit by a car coming off an overpass. And another one jumps down and lands on him. I would be more interested in this if I gave a crap about Dwight, or cared what happens to him.

And now Daryl has been cornered by Negan and a bunch of his thugs. “Are we pissing our pants yet?” No. Not really. Mostly this all just annoys me.

Oh. He was asking Daryl, not me. I’m not sure Daryl cares either.

So I wish Negan Land (The Sanctuary, as my husband has schooled me) was different in some way than EVERY OTHER PLACE our heroes have gotten trapped in over the years. But it’s not. It’s just some old creepy warehouse or whatever, and mean thugs working for the ruler, and maybe someone sneaking around behind the scenes trying to help Daryl in some way, and just nothing different. Like, dog food isn’t really super over the top. There’s nothing happening here that the Governor didn’t do. Or the people at Terminus. Or inevitably the people at the Kingdom, because I am a cynic and think the writers of this show are assholes and the Kingdom and King Ezekiel will turn out to be evil assholes too.

Also I just found out the Broncos are losing to the Raiders. So that blows.

Negan is talking again. Does this dude ever shut the hell up?

Who are you? You are Negan, and you NEVER. STOP. TALKING.

Who are you? You are Negan, and you NEVER. STOP. TALKING.

Why do people even want to live on this show? I’m seriously not convinced that we wouldn’t all just get to the point where we’d be like, ohhh, screw it, I can’t take anymore, and this isn’t getting any better, so I’ll just go ahead and let today be the day that I die.

Back to Dwight on the highway. And Daryl being beat up by the Negan thugs.

The woman who keeps trying to talk to Daryl is outside his cell talking to him. Don’t fall for this chick’s nonsense, Daryl.

So Dwight has cornered some dude on the highway that he used to be friends with. And he’s trying to get him to come back to The Sanctuary. But the guy isn’t having it.

This would be more interesting if we gave a shit about these people. But since they’re assholes who work for Negan, we don’t.

Ads! ROGUE ONE! I can’t wait for this movie. This and The Beauty and the Beast movie. I am all in.

I feel a rant coming on. How many minutes of show are left? 14? Let’s see if I can last without a rant.

Dwight shot his friend and has returned to the warehouse. This chick who is probably his ex-wife is sharing her cigarettes with him. They are having a bizarre cryptic conversation that would probably make more sense if I cared about either one of them.

I think the torture song is starting to grow on Daryl. I know it’s growing on me.

What’s the photo? My glasses suck, you guys.

Ooh, Roy Orbison! This isn’t torture.

DON’T FALL FOR IT, DARYL! It’s a trick!

My husband doesn’t even know what the photo is. He literally doesn’t pay close attention to any shows other than this one and football, and he wasn’t paying attention to the damn Polaroid.

So we are rewinding. We have been staring at the picture for five minutes. We don’t know what it is. And now I’m too irritated to care.

What did Dwight think, that he and Daryl would bond over the Roy Orbison?

Oh fun. A meeting with Negan. Don’t drink anything he gives you, Daryl!

Oh god. Negan is talking again.

Remember when all the annoying women who would never stop talking on this show finally died and it was really great? Negan is our punishment for being happy about that.

He’s still talking. Telling this super boring story about how he broke Dwight. Asking Daryl who he is.

Daryl won’t answer till next week.

Oh no. He answered. He’s still Daryl. For now.

Ooh. Now Daryl’s going to psych out Dwight.

Dwight’s friend from earlier on the highway is on the zombie fence now. And Dwight looks just as confused as ever. And that’s a wrap.

Oh god. Next week is 90 minutes of this crap. But at least Rick and the gang are back!

I don’t know, you guys. This episode was a pretty big snooze fest to me. This episode is exactly why this show frustrates me. It’s way too soon to ask us to care or empathize about any of the people who had a hand in murdering fan-favorite Glenn. It just makes me angry and makes me feel like the writers think we’re all stupid.

Which let’s face it. I keep watching, so I probably am.

Let's all just enjoy this photo of Daryl in happier times.

Let’s all just enjoy this photo of Daryl in happier times.

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