DCC 2017 Preview: Artists

Because it's all about the art.

Because it’s all about the art.

It’s almost time for Denver Comic Con fellow geeks! You know what that means, it’s almost time to spend all your money on amazing art to adorn your walls. Don’t worry, we’re here to help! Many of our favorite artists are returning to DCC this year, and we can’t wait to see what they’re bringing. And of course, we know that new artists await us on the Con floor, and we’ll tell you all about them too, don’t worry.

But for now, here’s our list of artists whose tables you absolutely MUST visit during DCC.

Credit: Atomic Pixies

Credit: Atomic Pixies

Atomic Pixies – Booth C07

We are so happy that Atomic Pixies will be back at Con this year. If you think I’m not picking up some awesome Stars Wars pieces this year, you’re insane.

 

Credit: Ben Byrd

Credit: Ben Byrd

Ben Byrd – Booth M17

We buy all the Ben Byrd every year. Because every year he has more adorable, wonderful and whimsical art. I, personally, don’t have all of the dragon pieces yet, so I’m excited to finish out my collection.

 

Credit: Elisa Wikey

Credit: Elisa Wikey

Elisa Wikey – Booth M04

I love Elisa’s stuff so much that I want to hug it! Witty, adorable and perfect, this year I’m hoping to stock up on stickers and pins.

 

Credit: Jeannine Schafer

Credit: Jeannine Schafer

Jeannine Schafer – Booth 659

Hands down the best creator of ridiculous cat art on the planet. She does other animals too, but her cats are the best. Plus, she also has t-shirts that are so soft you will weep.

 

Credit: Jenny Parks

Credit: Jenny Parks

Jenny Parks – Booth Q07

OK, OK, maybe Jenny Parks has the best ridiculous cat art on the planet. Don’t make us choose! It’s impossible. I for one am definitely picking up her Wonder Woman cat this year.

 

Credit: Karen Hallion

Credit: Karen Hallion

Karen Hallion – Booth G19

If loving Karen Hallion is wrong, we don’t wanna be right. Her art is beautiful, powerful and awesome. Be sure to take one of her pieces home, won’t you?

 

Credit: Katy L Wood

Credit: Katy L Wood

Katy L Wood – Booth E17

Katy’s work is sometimes dark and gorgeous, and sometimes whimsical and bright. It’s always lovely. For bonus points, Katy hails from Colorado, so show some support for our homegrown talent!

 

Credit: Meg Kirkpatrick

Credit: Meg Kirkpatrick

Megmcmuffins – Booth F05

Meg is the absolute best, and I’m not just saying that because she brought my halfling Bard Portia to life. Her art honors a lot of fandoms, from Critical Role to Supernatural to Hamilton. She’s also hysterically funny and has Blucifer pins available! ALL HAIL BLUCIFER, Lord of the Airport.

 

Credit: Monkey Minion Press

Credit: Monkey Minion Press

Monkey Minion Press – Booth E13

Books! Prints! Magnets and posters! Amazing, beautiful work from the ridiculously talented hands of Dane and Ashlie, Monkey Minion is a can’t miss stop at any Con. Plus, they like space! Space is awesome.

 

Credit: Ryan Cain

Credit: Ryan Cain

Ryan Cain – Booth O23

We love Ryan’s clean style and top notch attention to detail. Also, he’s for sure a gamer nerd, which grants bonus points!

 

Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for all our DCC coverage! We’ll be posting live from the Con floor, sharing favorite moments, panel highlights and chance encounters. And of course the best cosplay. Don’t miss a moment! Find us for free stickers and other Con fun!

SiG Reacts: Wonder Woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actual conversation we had after watching the Wonder Woman movie:

-OMG!

-It’s SO GOOD!

-She’s AMAZING!

-OMG!

-I can’t believe how awesome it was!

-I LOVE HER!

-It was HER OWN MOVIE!

-Like, an entire movie ABOUT WONDER WOMAN!

-I mean, they didn’t try to make it about someone else with a dash of Wonder Woman. It’s HER movie.

-Yes. I know what you meant.

-Okay. I thought you would but I just had to point it out.

-I know. Because Wonder Woman. We’ve been waiting for this for a long ass time.

-I cried every time her theme music played.

-I just cried whenever she kicked some ass.

-Oh, that too.

-It was hard not to cry.

-It was almost relief crying, in a way. Is that weird?

-I’m not saying you’re not weird, but THAT isn’t weird.

-Also Etta Candy.

-I KNOW. She’s so great. “The pay is rather good.”

-I liked Robin Wright.

-She was amazing!

-She’s always amazing.

-True.

-I liked that there is a lot of really iconic imagery from the comics.

-Yes!

-When are we seeing it again?

(To be fair, we ask that question after every movie we like.)

Also there was this:

Take THAT! And some of THIS! And a little of THAT!

Take THAT! And some of THIS! And a little of THAT!

 

And this:

Also some stuff blew up.

Also some stuff blew up.

 

And some of this:

Watch it!

Watch who you’re shooting your nonsense at!

 

A bit of this:

(If she makes this face at you, run. Faster.)

(If she makes this face at you, run. Faster.)

 

Some of this:

Honestly probably run if she makes this face at you too.

Honestly probably run if she makes this face at you too.

 

And this:

“Really? Put some glasses on her and no one will notice she’s still the most beautiful woman in the world? All right.”

 

Frankly not enough of this:

Etta Candy knows what's up.

Etta Candy knows what’s up.

Or enough of this:

But seriously.

But seriously.

 

If I'd had this movie as a youngster, I'd have liked horses a lot more.

If I’d had this movie as a youngster, I’d have liked horses a lot more.

Oh, and there was this:

This Chris Pine guy is in the movie too. Mostly he does this.

This Chris Pine guy is in the movie too. Mostly he does this. He is above average.

And probably not nearly enough of this:

I am annoyed that I can't find a gif of Connie Nielsen's Hippolyta being all kick ass. So we just have to look upon Her Regalness in a still shot. But just know the woman can fight in that cape.

I am annoyed that I can’t find a gif of Connie Nielsen’s Hippolyta being all kick ass. So we just have to look upon Her Regalness in a still shot. But just know the woman can fight in that cape.

 

But there was so much of this:

This is the part that made Megan cry. Because she got glass in her eye. Yeah. Glass. That's it.

This is the part that made Megan cry. Because she got glass in her eye. Yeah. Glass. That’s it.

Yeah.

So anyway.

It’s a really great movie.

You should totally go see it.

10 Things We Loved About the New Beauty & the Beast

Header for B&BWe here at Sisters in Geek are unabashed in our fandoms and we lean in to our joy of all things nerdy. This weekend that included seeing the new live-action Beauty and the Beast, and we are here to say: we fracking adored it. For your reading enjoyment, here are our top 10 reasons why.

1. Dan Stevens is the sexiest, most fully realized Beast ever. I mean. Damn. We just had to get that out of the way off the top. OK, we can get to the serious commentary now.

What...um....what were we talking about again?

What…um….what were we talking about again?

2. The revelation that was Luke Evans’ performance. He can sing! He’s got killer comedic timing! He insisted on Gaston being an unrepentant, raging asshole! All at the same time, which is really no easy feat. He had, quite literally, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and yet we loved every moment of his time on-screen.

Did I mention the part where I am the Literal Worst? I'm sure I mentioned it. I'm all I ever talk about!

Did I mention the part where I am the Literal Worst? I’m sure I mentioned it. I’m all I ever talk about!

3. Giving the servants more to do besides sing, dance and cajole was necessary, and so well executed. The profoundly sad scene where Lumiere and Plumette dance in that dark and funereal ballroom, terrified of dying before they can be together again? Pure poetry.

The layers. The detail. The apron pockets!

The layers. The detail. The apron pockets!

Gods, the embroidery. I need it.

Gods, the embroidery. I need it.

4. Costume porn and cosplay inspiration for days everyone. Days. And not just The Dress either, gorgeous though it was. The little touches on Belle’s workaday dress with its pantaloons and pockets had me making Denver Comic Con costuming plans, and her beautiful flowered number at the end made us all swoon.

5. The dancing! The dancing, the dancing, the dancing. The choreography was flawless, the period choices perfection, and the fact that Emma Watson and Dan Stevens clearly have good skills (or at least excellent teachers) didn’t hurt either. I could dedicate a whole post to this, honestly, because that’s what happens when you are a history nerd who majored in Dance.

6. Beast gets a lonely romantic solo (Evermore) and it is so right. It flipped the standard romantic narrative on its head by laying his isolation and loss of agency over top of Belle’s frantic flight into the snow to take action to save her father. It also showed off Stevens’ outstanding vocal chops and furthered the story without overshadowing anyone or anything. Oh, and it probably guaranteed Disney an Oscar next year. (You heard it here first, folks!)

7. Belle is still the hero of her own story. She owns her difference, is fierce in her love and loyalty to her father, fearless even when she’s actually afraid and above all, she refuses to hide her intelligence. She also falls in love with a man because of his library, which is a sentiment we can get behind. Beast and Belle fell in love because they are both bookworms with a burning passion for medieval romances, not because of Fate, or Destiny. And that’s awesome.

Look at the sexy brain on Beast!

Look at the sexy brain on Beast!

8. The music is still epic and gorgeous and ripe for sing-a-longs. The additions of both the new stuff and the Broadway stuff (hello Kevin Kline’s singing voice! Where have you been all my life?) fit in seamlessly, and the cast all met the challenges with grace. It’s not easy taking on such iconic roles and making them your own.

9. The more complex and, dare we say, grown up darkness of the enchantress’ curse. The way the village forgot the castle and their lord, the helplessness of Mrs. Potts as she soldiers on in raising a son all alone, her husband unaware that either exist. We like a little dark underpinning in our happily ever afters, and we got it.

10. Last, but most certainly not least, it made us cry freely and often. Because it’s awesome, and because it’s sad and because it takes us back to great moments and places in time. Because Belle is a badass bookworm, and so are we. And because when the last petal fell the footstool puppy fell onto his back and if that doesn’t break your heart, I really can’t help you. The experience pulled on our heart strings, and for that we are grateful.

#Goals

#Goals

What about you, dear readers? What were your favorite moments, what made you laugh, or cheer, or cry? Tell us in the comments, and if you need us we’ll be off somewhere pretending we have giant libraries with ladders and rare first editions.

All images credit by Disney.

Snack Report: Gamer Vacation Edition

mass effect andromeda snacks

Video game vacations are my favorite. Going to work is torture when you’ve just started a new game and you’re busy collecting some random thing. I can’t stop collecting the random thing! If I get 5 more I can build another random thing that I NEED! All those hours not playing? *shudder* At work you can of course read articles about the game you’re not playing, or message your friend about your game separation pains. None of it will help because you’ve been rudely pulled from your full gaming experience to adult. Taking a game vacation is really the best thing for you!

I’m obsessing slightly about my upcoming game-cation. Mass Effect Andromeda looks just as huge and detailed as the last game. I’m one of those crazy gamers who loves doing anything that isn’t the actual main plot. SIDE MISSIONS! RANDOMNESS! Searching for weird cool things under random rocks on a random planet because you never know!

In my obsessing I’m realizing, there are other adult things that may try to intrude on my gaming. Making food happen, getting enough caffeine for if stopping to sleep is too hard, and dessert of course. I mean poor food planning could lead me to have to put on pants and go to the store in the middle of talking to every NPC in a place. You can’t just stop mid-place with only half the NPCs talked to! That would be insane. YOU MIGHT MISS A SIDE MISSION!

I’ve finalized my snack list. These are foods that once prepared are easy to re-heat, or that could be eaten cold. They’re also easy to graze on while still gaming. Stopping for a meal is just more adulting, don’t fall for adulting!

Official Snack List of my ME: Andromeda Game-cation:

Pizza. Pizza pizza pizza. Pizza is a gamer go-to! You can eat it hot or cold. It is ready for when you realize that mission you’d thought would take no time, dumped you right into another action scene, and now that you’ve killed all the things you need FOOD! I’m going to cook the day before vacation, so I can have FANCY pizza, but delivery works too. I’m addicted to this pizza from The Pioneer Woman, though. Caramelized onions, prosciutto, lot of cheese! Mmmm…This pizza will hopefully see me through several days of random meals. Other good replacements are pizza rolls, or even making your pizza on naan bread, french bread, or english muffins to save yourself from dealing with pizza dough.

Smitten Kitchen Buckeyes!

Photo by Deb Perelman/SmittenKitchen.com

Dessert. This is a gaming vacation so dessert is essential. Not every meal should be as adult as pizza. I fully plan to eat dessert instead of a meal at least once a day, probably with a soda. Sugar-caffeine is how gamers survive long missions.  I love peanut butter and chocolate! My Kentucky relatives always used to make buckeyes when I was a kid. If you haven’t had these they are sugary peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate. Smitten Kitchen has a great recipe for Buckeyes that I love. If buckeyes don’t seem like the dessert for you, Smitten Kitchen is a go-to site for desserts. She’s a very dedicated dessert tester. If she says a recipe is the best, she’s done the science. She knows! I should really move in next door to see if she gives samples to her neighbors. If baking is too complicated, find a local bakery!

Caffeine. It could be you don’t need this. Happiness and game excitement might carry you through nonstop playing! You may also get stuck in a weird place in the game and need some extra energy. Better be safe and stock up.

Dip. What is even the purpose of a couch vacation if you aren’t gonna eat a fancy dip while talking to alien NPCs about if you can get their credit chit back from some other NPC that wants you to do something else? NPCs are so needy. You need dip for in between your pizza and dessert meals! You know what though, you probably should have some more protein. Buffalo Chicken Dip! It is like eating cheesy wing dip! Frank’s hot sauce has my favorite recipe for this. It is great with corn chips. I use cheddar cheese, not blue cheese. I also like it hotter, so I do about 3/4 c. hot sauce. But you might want to taste it before listening to a crazy person and adding more.

snack-report-meatsandcheeses

Olives and Cheeeeeeese. This is the easiest snack. It requires taking it out of the fridge and maybe putting it on a plate before stuffing it in your mouth. It is perfect for game-grazing! I usually get an aged gouda, a port salut or soft goat cheese, an english cheddar that smells super earthy, and a stinky blue cheese (drizzle some honey on that.) Yum. Olives need to be pitted for safety!

For olives treat yourself and go find a grocery with an olive bar. Then you can get a variety! Genoa salami, crackers, apples, pears, pickled veggies, candied pecans…these can only improve your olive and cheese experience. Fresh herbs too. A little fresh thyme on a soft goat cheese is magic.

Bacon Sandwiches. Alright, my no cooking plan was for anything but bacon. Bacon is nice. You’ll also need some breaks eventually. Why not use your break to cook some bacon! I love a bacon, avocado, tomato sandwich on toasted bread with a bit of lime juice and mayo. Now this is messy food. It may be tough to eat without getting the controller messy, so this is probably a chance for you to eat while looking online at all the silly things everyone else is doing in game. Reddit is my usual go-to for this, but right now they’re complaining about faces and character creation? It’ll be better in a week when there are silly game videos and screen caps!

EXTRA SNACKS. As much as you plan, you don’t know what you’ll be craving. Best to have some back-up favorites around. In fact, I’ve got fruit and veggies since I suspect a few days of eating the above, I may start craving lighter things. Of course, if I want more fatty sugary things, then peanut m&ms or reese’s pieces are wonderful. Chocolate truffles. Cookies. COOKIE DOUGH. Popcorn. All of these can round out your vacation diet.

Finally, you should probably also buy the game, get the updates installed if you can, do some gamer stretches, make sure you have enough clean pajamas, and warn your family and friends that you may go silent for a while.

Legion is insanely lovable

legionheader6

Legion is a horror-soap-opera told by a man who has done a lifetime of drugs. It never goes quite so far as to make sense. Just as you get close to a thought it bleeds into another thought and neither are really clear, and all you really know is that this show is lovably insane.

This post only includes vague spoilers because I don’t really know what’s going on in Legion.

I truly love how they just keep telling David Haller that he’s sane. That he isn’t schizophrenic (a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation). Yet the show is all breakdowns between things that should work together, and mental fragments.

No, they think he’s completely sane, and they just need to prove this to him by prodding him into remembering his most traumatic memories. Obviously. Don’t you feel sane inside your trauma? Also, while they are there proving his sanity, they’d also like to set off his powers. Now some people who’ve set off his powers were killed instantly, but that doesn’t seem to give anyone pause.

Instead, every episode they are back at it. Set off his powers! Go inside his fractured mind! They’re constantly saying things like HE SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO DO THAT! Usually in situations that show that no one is in control. No one. It is complete chaos.They are poking the bear, but this bear has superpowers!

It is wonderful. They are leading an expedition into his creepy, horror brain. They just keep going back in. In more and more dangerous ways! Let’s push him further! Let’s look deeper! It’s such a bad, bad idea, but I just love it. Yes, go! GO LOOK! There are paper mache heads, snicker-snacks, yellow eyes, red lights…They are trying to solve the mystery of his personal horror. So I guess that means it is a Horror-mystery-soap-opera with drugs.

I’m kind of afraid they’ll solve it, but then again, that may lead to more fragmented thought plot. I am definitely not reading the comics, searching google, or watching my comic show that said it would talk about it this week. I don’t want to ruin the creepy surprise!

I think it’s the seen-through-drugs lens that makes it all so fun. It isn’t a realistic horror that is just HORROR. It is so stylized that even reality doesn’t look that real in this show. It’s all just the gleeful part of a bad horror movie where you say, “YES! GO INTO THE BASEMENT ALONE WHEN THE POWER IS OUT!” It is really quite lovely, and you should watch it.

Legion airs on FX on Wednesdays.

Shannis Reacts: The Walking Dead, Season 7 Episode 10, “New Best Friends”

I have to dive right in because I’m so excited about at least one thing that happened on tonight’s episode! So…

Seriously. Every week. Every episode. We're gonna do this.

Seriously. Every week. Every episode. We’re gonna do this.

Opening shot of Ezekiel and some of his peeps waiting for some Saviors to show up and take their stuff. It’s a truck load of watermelon and fuel. The watermelon is in IKEA baskets.

tbh they must be Dulcinea watermelons because these baskets aren't that big.

tbh they must be Dulcinea watermelons because these baskets aren’t that big, which is cool because that’s like a “screw you” to the Saviors, who probably think they should get large watermelons and stuff! 

Greasy haired Savior demands Richard’s gun. A fistfight ensues. Ezekiel makes Richard give up the gun because Ezekiel still thinks he can keep the peace with these dipshits. Gavin the Savior makes threats to Ezekiel. Greasy haired Savior takes Morgan’s ninja stick. Morgan is pissed.

Back at the Kingdom, Ezekiel lectures Ben for being quick to fight. This is some nonsense. Like, a year or two into the zombie apocalypse, everyone needs to get on board with fighting to survive. I’m bored with these people who think diplomacy is the way to go. 

Anyway. Daryl shows up and wants to know where they went. He is unimpressed that Morgan is bleeding. They have a stare down. Daryl is all, Carol wouldn’t put up with this. Morgan is all, Carol left because she doesn’t want to kill anyone else. He won’t tell Daryl where to find her. 

Next Daryl goes to make friends with Richard. He is practicing archery. He lets Daryl have a turn. It’s nice to see Daryl with a crossbow in his hands again.

Hello, luvvah.

Hello, luvvah.

By the way: Can I just tell you how stupid it is to have a Richard on a show where a dude named Rick is the main character? It’s very stupid.

Ads. Beats by Dre with Nicki Minaj. Humans. Show looks bad — I watched three minutes of it the other night and it was just… not good. iPad. Naked chicken chalupa from Taco Bell. Just kill me now. Ads are so awful. What am I even doing with my life????

Snickers Crisper looks delightful though.

Mmmmm. Snickers!

Mmmmm. Snickers!

Richard shows Daryl his secret stash. They go out walking. On the highway. Because in the zombie apocalypse, you can do that without getting… oh wait. Haha. Anyway! They’re going to wait for Saviors to drive by and shoot them. Richard tells Daryl about Carol but doesn’t know Daryl knows her. He’s left a trail to her cabin with the weapons cache, with Carol as bait. Like, they’ll follow the trail to her cabin, and they’ll kill her, and since Ezekiel “cares for her”, Ezekiel will be angered enough to join Rick and the All Stars in their fight against the Saviors. Daryl knows it’s Carol. Also this plan is terrible and Daryl knows it. He takes Richard down. They engage in fisticuffs and then have a standoff and then Richard convinces Daryl to stand down and stick with the plan. Which still sucks, just saying. And then Daryl warns Richard that if anything happens to Carol, he’ll kill him. And then he leaves. Presumably to find Carol.

This is so convoluted. Richard is a terrible strategist and he looks like the Governor and has the same name as Rick. Seriously how the hell is anyone supposed to keep up with this nonsense? 

Ads ads ads.

There is an ad for Los Pollos Hermanos and I legit just spit my drink out. 

Thanks, AMC.

Back to the show. The Children of the Corn are back, leading Rick and the All Stars into a junkyard. There is some sort of effed up circle ritual happening. Just like in Children of the Corn! A lady with a really unfortunate haircut steps up to demand info.

For real, check this out:

She does not have a good stylist.

She does not have a good stylist.

I mean for real, who did she piss off in hair and makeup??
It's legit worse than the trash heap she calls her kingdom.

It’s legit worse than the trash heap she calls her kingdom.

Rick is all, show me Gabriel first. On our couch, we are all, no one cares about Gabriel.

Rick schools Bad Hair Day about the Saviors and tries to get her to team up. She says no.

Fight! Gabriel even holds a knife to some ugly chick’s neck! Then he gives them some preacher talk and takes a turn at trying to convince them.

It’s a terrible idea to team up with these people. I just want to throw that out there. Even if they change their minds and say okay, it’s a really terrible idea. 

The leader takes Rick up a hill of trash to look over her shitty area.

Everything the light touches is our kingdom, Simba.

Everything the light touches is our kingdom, Simba.

She yammers about stuff being difficult or some nonsense. This entire show is nonsense sometimes. God. 

Then she pushes him down the side of the trash heap. So that’s cool.

Ads. Call of Duty. Are all of these calls of duty different or what is the deal?

Back in Trashland, Rick is stuck in a pit with an extra creepy zombie with pointy armor.

Oh wow. That is... you got something on your head, man.

Oh wow. That is… you got something on your head, man.

Pointy Trash Zombie is ready for a snack. Rick doesn’t know what to do, given that he has no weapons and only a giant pile of trash at his disposal. Michonne has to coach Rick from the other side of a pipe through which she is watching. She’s all, “Use the heap!” It’s like Obi Wan Kenobi up in here. Rick does some stuff with the trash, gets a sharp object. He kills the creature and Bad Hair Day throws down a rope. He climbs back up and she says they want guns. Rick grins. He is a sick, sick man. He is also injured, on his hand and his leg. 

So they strike a deal. They will get a third of whatever guns Rick and the All Stars can find. She wants more but Rick says no. Her teeth are oddly good for someone with hair that bad. She claims her name is Jadis. I don’t buy it, mostly because people don’t really name their children things like… oh wait. Never mind. 

She takes her Corn children with her and Rick and the All stars are free to leave. Pook really, REALLY wants Rick to get a bandage first. Evil Rob is all, “It’s a terrible idea to get a bandage from these people. It’ll be covered in bacteria.” It’s a tough call for me. But he has a bandage by the time they leave. 

Ads. Are we someday going to stop allowing Matthew McConaughey to sell cars for Lincoln?

Already 7:45! This episode is going quickly.

FINALLY! Carol!

There is never enough Carol in this show.

The look on Carol's face right here is straight out of my own parenting playbook. She has no time for your SHENANIGANS.

The look on Carol’s face right here is straight out of my own parenting playbook. She has no time for your SHENANIGANS.

And Ezekiel and his men and one lady are outside, doing something and claiming that they tried to be quiet and not bother her. Carol isn’t buying your nonsense, you guys.

She just wants to read a damn book, you guys.

She just wants to read a damn book, you guys.

Jerry the Fat Samurai brought her a cobbler. He grins when she accepts. Everyone in my house falls instantly, irrevocably in love. This means he will probably die two episodes from now.

In real life, he is a Jewish Samoan named Cooper Andrews.

In real life, he is a Jewish Samoan named Cooper Andrews. Look at that face! 

Later Carol’s trying to read another book and someone else knocks on her damn door. WHO CAN IT BE.

The internet doesn’t disappoint when it comes to Daryl and Carol fan art, you guys.

IMG_1560a8755cfdbceaa6a49ee1cce686cf2634

Daryl and Carol by sairobi on deviantart

Daryl and Carol by sairobi on deviantart

Carol and Daryl Chibi Valentine by nasubionna on deviantart

Carol and Daryl Chibi Valentine by nasubionna on deviantart

Daryl and Carol Reunited by jadeddreams1 on deviantart

Daryl and Carol Reunited by jadeddreams1 on deviantart

Caryl by akimao on deviantart

Caryl by akimao on deviantart

by poppprocks on nanozine

by poppprocks on nanozine

by Ashlee Casey on reddit

by Ashlee Casey on reddit

I could do this all night. But I won’t. Just one more…

This one is my fave. For reasons.

This one is my fave. For reasons.

Anyway, obviously it’s Daryl at the door and they stare at each other for a good minute before they embrace. Me and Pook are crying. Just a little. But still. Totally crying.

Scene change! Rick and Gabriel are talking while they make everyone else pack the car. Guess who is still boring and annoying? Spoiler: It’s Gabriel. 

And then Rosita and Tara are bickering again. This is bullshit. At some point, this stuff wouldn’t matter to people anymore. Bickering and hating each other because they once hooked up with the same man. This is what men think all women do all day long though, isn’t it? This has always been the issue with this show: the male creators have no idea how to write women. And of all the women in the world, Rosita and Tara would be least likely to behave like this. So this is a stupid waste of time throwaway scene. 

Rick grabs a terrible trash sculpture for Michonne before they head out.

Ads. Kong: Skull Island. Meh. How many times are we going to remake this damn movie? 

Back at the cabin: Daryl and Carol are in her living room in front of a romantic fire.

Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier - The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 10 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier – The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 10 – Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

She tells him why she left the group — she doesn’t want to keep killing people because it’s killing her inside. Then she asks him if the Saviors came and if they hurt anyone. Daryl lies without hesitation and tells her everyone is all right. She gives him stew. He leaves after dark but first they hug again.

Do you think someday they’ll actually hook up? Maybe on the very last episode, the whole world is burning and they are the last ones left and they know they are not long for the world, and so they’re like, “Let’s just do this already,” and they get busy and that’s the last we ever see of them.

(Hey Walking Dead producers? I can write for you! Call me!)

Tiger! Daryl is bonding with her. Morgan comes in and compliments Daryl’s rapport with the tiger. Daryl is like, we need the Kingdom. You gotta make that happen. Morgan is all, I can’t. Daryl is annoyed. Morgan tells him they are alike and that he knows that Daryl didn’t tell Carol about Abe and Glenn or she would have come back with him, ready to fight. Daryl’s like, whatevs, get us the Kingdom, MORGAN. 

Daryl leaves for Hilltop in the morning.

Scenes from next week show Negan and Dwight picking on Eugene. Great. Like, Eugene is a wuss anyway. It’s not going to be any fun to watch Negan and Dwight pick on him. 

You guys. Pollyanna McIntosh (Jadis) is on the Talking Dead and her hair is not a whole lot better in real life. She is lovely though.

Remember Jordan in Real Genius? That's what this hair reminds me of.

Remember Jordan in Real Genius? That’s what this hair reminds me of.

 

And now for some gratuitous Norman Reedus. Because hell, why not?

Did you know that back in the 1990s, Norman Reedus was a model? He did a whole campaign for Prada. And I actually have vivid recall of this campaign because back in MY 1990s, I was writing a terrible book about a rock star and superstar pop singer, and I read a boatload of fashion magazines for inspiration, and the Norman Reedus Prada ads were included in my vision notebook (that’s what we used to have in olden times, before they invented Pinterest).

Anyway.

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Sweet dreams, and see you next week for an episode that has to suck more than this one because Negan will be back and we all know how much Negan loves the sound of his own voice!!

Shannis Reacts: The Walking Dead, Season 7 Episode 9, “Rock in the Road”

Oh god. Here we are again. It’s like no time has passed at all but apparently it’s been two whole months or something? I don’t even know. I’m missing the trainwreck known as the Grammys for this so I hope everyone appreciates my sacrifice.

As ever, SPOILERS FOLLOW.

I know. People who whine about spoilers make me cry too, Daryl.

I know. People who whine about spoilers make me cry too, Daryl.


All right. Midseason premiere. Let’s do this. Which… “midseason premier”. Everything on television is such an event now. I’m so over it. Can’t we just watch our STORIES without it being a THING? 

Boring Father Gabriel is reading a book in the dark while he’s supposed to be on watch duty. Typical. I guess he assumes God’s got it under control.

Now he’s wandering into a house in the dark and knocks a bunch of shit down, causing a huge ruckus. Nice.

He’s loading stuff from the pantry into a plastic bin.

Ah. Stealing a car, preacher man?

Yep. He’s bailing.

Pretty much.

Pretty much.

Ads. Snore.

Hilltop, and The Ricking Crew are meeting with the dude in charge in his office. This Hilltop dickbag is starting to sound a lot like Negan. Jesus is like, “You’re a dick, dude.” And the dickbag is like, “We’re not fighting.” 

You guys, I’m not gonna lie. My husband made Elvis sandwiches for dinner and there was a situation with my bread and I had to take care of it during this very overlong scene with Gregory saying “no, Hilltop isn’t gonna fight” and The Ricking Crew arguing and Carl Poppa saying he’s going to train the people. None of us missed anything and then Enid rallied some more Hilltop people to the cause and Daryl was like, “We don’t need numbers because we can just blow shit up” and I knew I loved Daryl for a reason.

Also this sandwich kicks ass.

Ads for Arrival and some kind of over the top Verizon plan that thinks highly enough of itself to use music from 2001: A Space Odyssey. Come on, Verizon. Get a grip. I’ve seen 2001: A Space Odyssey and you are NO 2001: A Space Odyssey. I mean, look at this. It’s just an opening credits shot and it’s amazing.

Once, in first grade, or maybe it was second, I don’t know because I am old now, we did a music and dance program at school for the parents and one of the dances was to the opening music from that movie, and it was real weird. Like, the kids pretended to be space rocks but then they came to life and danced around like rock-shaped aliens? It was the 1970s. I don’t know. Anyway now I’m in this place:

 

Creepy. My baby daddy’s name is HAL. I bet that’s NO COINCIDENCE.

But I digress.

Road trip! To The Kingdom!

Jesus needs a haircut.

Sweet silver angel over the sea please come down flyin' low for me

Sweet silver angel over the sea
please come down flyin’ low for me

Horses!!

The guards are like, who are all these people? Jesus is like, friends of mine. The guards are like, line up. Daryl isn’t having it. He will likely never get in a line ever again. Rick tries to be reasonable. It grates on him. But the guards take The Ricking Crew through the gates. 

Inside the Kingdom, hippie music is playing.

Pretty sure these dudes are about to show up.

Pretty sure these dudes are about to show up.

The guards lead The Ricking Crew through the streets and they see the young people training and the other people doing their… gardening. And suddenly here is Morgan and everyone hugs! Or almost everyone. Not Rick! And then he fills them in on Carol and Daryl is listening with extra ears. Morgan says she’s gone and Daryl looks super sad. And then Morgan says he got them an audience with the king. 

King Ezekiel! And the tiger!

Khary Payton as Ezekiel - The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 2 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Khary Payton as Ezekiel – The Walking Dead _ Season 7, Episode 2 – Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

King Ezekiel is going to be at Denver Comic Con this year and I am super stoked. I hope he brings that tiger. 

Conversation ensues. I can’t believe Rick just calls him King right off the bat. And that no one else is behind him snickering. Even Daryl is like, “Sure. King. Whatever.” 

This is ridiculous. I can’t believe they’re having this conversation like it’s the Renaissance festival. Just talk like normal people.

Ezekiel asks for Morgan’s opinion. Whatever. Morgan’s all, maybe we can just capture Negan. Nope. I’m waiting for Daryl to speak up but he doesn’t. I guess Daryl really is a man of few words. 

Then Rick tells Ezekiel a story about a rock in the road. And some bag of gold. And how the king left it there on purpose because… stuff. And thangs. I don’t know. This seems like b.s. When do we fight??

Rick is at least amused by King Ezekiel.

As are we all.

Seriously if we don’t see Carol in this episode though I’ll be kinda pissed that I skipped the horror show that is the Grammys. Katy Perry has BLONDE HAIR, you guys. 

She looks like Christina Applegate got in a fight with Fraggle Rock and emerged victorious.

She looks like Christina Applegate got in a fight with Fraggle Rock and emerged victorious.

And Jason Derulo is dressed up like Hip Hop Count Dracula.

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 12: Singer Jason Derulo attends The 59th GRAMMY Awards at STAPLES Center on February 12, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

LOS ANGELES, CA – FEBRUARY 12: Singer Jason Derulo attends The 59th GRAMMY Awards at STAPLES Center on February 12, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)

I’m just trying not to make him angry lest he summon whatever that collar is to life.

Oh also here is this weird Humpty Dumpty ad from the Super Bowl.

ANYWAY.

Ezekiel’s boy wonder Benjamin is in the woods training and almost gets killed by Carol. She is deeply unimpressed by his earnestness and offer of water. He fails to tell her that The Ricking Crew is in town. He must not know how much we all ship Carol and Daryl. 

My glasses suck so I can’t quite tell but I think Ezekiel is tucking someone into bed with the I Have A Dream speech. 

Benjamin comes in and tells him he saw Carol. Ezekiel tries to be casual in asking how she is but you can tell he ships it. He ships himself and Carol hard. And just know that I’m all in for a Ezekiel-Carol-Daryl Hunger Games style love triangle.

Anyway Benjamin is like, we have to help them, and King Zeke is like, “Thanks for your wise council, young one.” Or something.

All this King shit is annoying and weird though.

Morning and it’s archery practice for the children. This IS the Renaissance festival. Daryl looks pained watching their terrible technique.

Ezekiel’s like, we’re not fighting with you. Rick’s like, “Please?” Ezekiel’s like, “Nah.” Rick’s like, “Come on, dude.” Zeke’s all, “Nah.”

 

Something something blah blah blah stuff and thangs.

Something something blah blah blah stuff and thangs.

Ezekiel offers Daryl sanctuary inside The Kingdom since the Negan squad are after him, but refuses to let his people join in their fight. They start walking away. Richard the guard wants to fight. And Rick wants Daryl to stay. Daryl’s like “I ain’t” and Rick is all, “Stay behind and stare him into submission. Whatever it takes.” And Daryl knows he is defeated and has to stay. And then the gates slam closed as The Ricking Crew leaves.

At least Daryl will see Carol soon. Hopefully by the end of this episode!

Ads. Call of Duty. Wendy’s. Some gross energy drink. Brad Paisley wrecking Nationwide. Barf.

God. Next week we’re starting this shit late so I don’t have to watch ads.

This movie with Scarlett Johansson looks so boring. Ghost in the Shell. Snore.

Back to the show. Out on the highway.

Hahahahahahaha Negan is memorializing Fat Joey over the PA system.

Cars block the highway. Rick decides they’ll move them, then move them back, so the Saviors don’t know they were there. I don’t think that’s gonna work but okay, whatever.

 

Jesus thinks it's a terrible idea too, you can just tell.

Jesus thinks it’s a terrible idea too, you can just tell.


And then they discover a whole explosive tripwire system. Rick and Michonne want the explosives for their coming battles. If only they had Eugene to help! Rosita is like, allow me. Now they’re all messing about with dynamite. This seems like it will end badly.

So the whole tripwire/explosives system? It’s a trap for a giant herd of walkers, who start coming around the curve in the highway as they’re removing the explosives. The Ricking Crew are piling dynamite and other explosives into their vehicle. But only the ones that seem like they’re in good condition. Um… okay. And the walkers are getting closer and closer. 

This is all very exciting but I fail to see the point. They send Jesus and Sasha to run back to Hilltop and tell Maggie they haven’t given up. Which… whatever. 

Then Rick and Michonne drive two cars with a wife stretched between them and now down hundreds of walkers, then make a run for it back to the group’s car. EPIC CLOTHESLINE!

Hopefully by tomorrow there will be a gif and I can insert it here.

They drive away and one of the piles of dynamite goes off, blowing up a bunch of walkers.

Aaaaand ads.

Oh, Passage. How I have not missed you. Does anyone care about this? They are choking in dust from the bomb going off underground. And given that they’ve been stuck down there for two months with no one missing them, I shouldn’t wonder. 

Back to Alexandria. The gates open and a bunch of Negan’s trucks drive in. They’re there to find Daryl. And kill him. And trash everyone’s houses.

It’s super boring when the guy who really wants to be Negan tries to talk like Negan. Luckily they leave, so I don’t have to throat punch anyone.

The two Alexandria guys fill The Ricking Crew in on Gabriel’s disappearance. Rick doesn’t want to believe Gabriel would just steal stuff and run. Rosita’s like, of course he would. I am with Rosita, really. 

But then it seems Gabriel laid some sort of trail. The Ricking Crew are like, “LET’S GO!” 

The gay dudes are bickering in their perfectly clean house. The one is like, “I’M GOING WITH! RICK NEEDS ME!” And the other one is like, “STAY HERE. Don’t be stupid.” I’m with him. Also, why is it that the gay couple’s house is the only spotless one after the Negan dudes are done trashing everything??

The Ricking Crew have gone to look for Gabriel. They find footprints. Now, you know and I know that the footprints do not belong to Gabriel. Because we’ve been seeing that person in the black boots spying on The Ricking Crew the last few episodes! But the crew doesn’t know this.

And so of course they wind up surrounded by what looks to be the Children of the Corn, all grown up. CREEPY.

REPENT.

REPENT.

And Rick smirks and that’s the end.

Seriously, all of these people look super inbred. And I’m here to tell you, if the only people who survive the zombie apocalypse for longer than three years are super inbred backwoods weirdos, count me out. Just let Daryl put me out of my misery early on. With his crossbow.

Someone find this man a new crossbow, stat.

Someone find this man a new crossbow, stat.

See all y’all next week!

This show makes me talk like I’m from Georgia. But only inside my head.

A Geek’s Place Is In The Revolution: Stories To Help You Fight

Come and Claim ThemIt’s dark times, fellow geeks. You know it, I know it, let’s face it, we all know it. There are lots of different, and valid, ways to manage this darkness. Maybe you volunteer, or donate to causes that you care about. You can play a game, ride your bike, pet kittens. Drink heavily, and eat all the cake. The point is, you have options. Me? I like to lean in to the darkness. It helps me find the light. The following is my list of books and movies that I turn to, the stories that inspire and guide me. They are stories of perseverance, stories of war and revolution. You know, your classic tales of ordinary people thrust into extraordinary circumstances. And don’t worry, if fluffy escapism, or riotous laughter is more your thing, we have plenty of suggestions for that route too.

The Handmaid’s Tale

Handmaid's Tale CoverAnyone who has known me for any amount of time knows that Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale is my hands down favorite book of all time. To explain why would likely be a huge post all on its own, so here’s the short version. While a lot of people find this book to be unendingly bleak, Offred’s story of stubborn survival never fails to uplift me. I often say “The Handmaid’s Tale is not an instruction manual.”, but as we move forward into uncertain, scary times, I think it can be. For us. Offred may look like a woman keeping her head down and just trying to get through, but she does more than that. She remembers who she is, and survives to tell her story. Sometimes, that’s enough.

The Hunger Games Trilogy

Hunger Games CoverSuzanne Collins’ absolutely brilliant dystopian nightmare is something I reread (and rewatch) all the time for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, I just need a good, full on, ugly cry. Sometimes, I want to watch Katniss Everdeen kick some fascist ass. Sometimes, I just want to experience all over again Collins’ absolutely scathing commentary on the intersection of entertainment and war. It depends on the day. The Hunger Games doesn’t pull any punches and once you’re done reading it (maybe for the millionth time), you’ll be ready to volunteer as tribute.

World War Z

World War ZI love this book so much. The documentary journalism style. The super creepy zombies. The cross-section of survivors with stories to tell. The humor. Hell, I even geek out over the footnotes. Humanity, for all its horrific flaws and poor decisions, will find a way to survive even a never-ending horde of mindless, hungry undead. Did I mention the super nerdy footnotes?

 

 

Lord of the Rings

LOTR CoverThe original, epic fantasy saving the world with magic swords and the power of friendship story. Profound and inspiring, with glorious speeches, epic battles, plus hobbits! Hobbits are great. Hobbits with pints and a ridiculous commitment to hope, even in the face of horrific enemies and truly terrible odds. I have a particular fondness for the movies myself, but you can’t go wrong either way.

Harry Potter

Harry Potter CoversThe whole series is obviously always worth reading or watching again, at any time. Let’s just be clear about that. But, in particular, books 5-7 make up one of the best primers for geeky revolutionaries of all ages. Harry, Hermione, Ron and their friends are just kids, but they don’t let that get in the way of waging a war against the Death Eaters.

 

 

Les Miserables

Les MiserablesDo I even really need to explain this? If Do You Hear the People Sing doesn’t make you feel all the emotions, I really just don’t know what to say. Vive La Resistance!

V for Vendetta

V for VendettaV is for when you really want to embrace the darkness. Beautifully paranoid and bleak, V is also an incredible elegy to humanity’s unwillingness to wither and die in the face of fascism and nuclear holocaust. Incidentally, the film adaptation also allowed me to forgive Natalie Portman for the travesty that is Attack of the Clones. But, let’s not get into that. This is a time for geeks to band together!

 

What’s your fuel for fighting the good fight, fellow geeks? Share in the comments, and we’ll see you in the trenches.

 

 

 

 

 

Hail to The Streep: A Quick Manifesto on Life, Art, and Film, and Why “Political” Isn’t A Dirty Word

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 08:  In this handout photo provided by NBCUniversal, Meryl Streep accepts  Cecil B. DeMille Award  during the 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 8, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California.  (Photo by Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal via Getty Images)

BEVERLY HILLS, CA – JANUARY 08: In this handout photo provided by NBCUniversal, Meryl Streep accepts Cecil B. DeMille Award during the 74th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 8, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Paul Drinkwater/NBCUniversal via Getty Images)

 

Did y’all see Meryl Streep at the Golden Globe awards the other week, and her badass speech accepting the Cecil B. DeMille Award for outstanding contributions to film?

Here. In case you missed it. Go on. We’ll wait.


Amazing, right? The woman is a legend. I love her. I really do.

And what I think I love the most about Meryl Streep is the way she uses her voice. Whether it’s via the roles she chooses or the philanthropic work she does or the speaking out on issues important to her, she knows she has a voice and by god, she is going to use it and don’t you DARE try to shut her up or you will be staring down the barrel of a very disapproving glare a la Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada.

This speech was powerful. She knew exactly what she was doing. She knew well in advance that she would be honored with this award, and she wrote a speech that said, “Screw all this self-aggrandizement that we are famous for in Hollywood. I’m going to stand up there and speak some TRUTH.” And she did exactly that. She called to task some very powerful people — well, one in particular — and she asked the room to join her in standing against him. And she did this on a broadcast from a television network that kisses that man’s ass as though he is the second coming.

It took about ten minutes on the interwebs for people to start getting angry and attacking her for being “too political”. Everyone’s favorite thing to say: “It’s an awards show. You are just a stupid actress. You are there to look pretty and entertain me. Go make a movie and shut up.”

Hey guess what?

Movies are art. Some of us call it film, or filmmaking, in our slightly more pretentious moments. And the art of filmmaking, like all art, when done well, can transport us, challenge us, make us laugh, make us weep, make us rage, make us cheer, make us hate, make us love. And art? Art IS political. Art has always been political. Because art is life, and life is political is life.

From the beginning of time, humankind has created art that tells stories about their lives. Cave drawings. Language. Storytelling. Dance. Music. It’s all been around a lot longer than Hollywood. And it’s all been political a lot longer than Hollywood. Plato, Sophocles, Socrates: All political. Beowulf contains political commentary. Shakespeare is so super political, what with all the critique of society and whatnot. Hell, even the BIBLE is political — all those Romans versus the Jews and everyone using Jesus Christ as a pawn in their political long game?

Dark times are upon us. Our country has been given over to a group of people who would like nothing more than to shut all of us up, permanently — time will tell what lengths they’re willing to go to achieve that. They want us to be stupid. They want us to not ask questions. They want us to fall in line and be the pawns in their game of money and power.

And some random people on the internet — and plenty we’ll meet in real life too — want us to “stop making everything political”.

(It’s funny how the people who always throw that word around like it’s something dirty or bad are always the ones who turn every single conversation towards the political and then as soon as you disagree with them, screech at you for “bringing politics into this”, isn’t it? Hilarious!)

Well. It’s good to want things. But no.

I refuse.

Meryl Streep refuses.

The women she inspires refuse.

We all refuse.

Think about the darkest times in your life. The ones you were sure, at the time, you wouldn’t make it through. The ones where there was no light at the end of the tunnel — at least no light that you could see. What got you through?

Antidepressants, most of my close friends are thinking right now. And that’s right. Antidepressants… and art. Photographs. Paintings. Music. Theatre. Dance. Books. And MOVIES.

And another thing: Don’t tell Meryl Streep what she can and can’t say on HER platform. That’s HER workplace. She’s the boss in that room and she will say what she came there to say. It is the most appropriate possible time and place for her to speak, and to stand up for people who don’t have the same voice she has.

And at the same time, don’t tell us that we can’t applaud her, for speaking up on our behalf, for touching our lives over and over with her art, for being a woman we can look up to, that our girls can look up to. Whatever your motivation, just don’t. Don’t tell me it’s all a distraction. Don’t tell me it’s just a bunch of celebrities. Don’t tell me I should have better things to do with my time.

The most important thing I can do with my time is LIVE. And art is part of life. Art tells the story of our life.

So we salute Meryl Streep and thank her for the art, and for the words, and for the voice.

Now let’s go watch some movies.

Shannis Reacts: The Walking Dead, S7 Ep 8, “Hearts Still Beating”

Before I get started with this week’s recap, I must right a grievous oversight from last week. When Negan asked Carl to sing and Carl sang “You Are My Sunshine”, Evil Rob made a crack that he should have sung “Carl Poppa”, and I was all, “What on earth are you babbling about now, WEIRD HUSBAND?” And he tried to explain and I was just blanking completely at the reference. But then later he posted the video for me on Facebook (a Bad Lip Reading video) and it all came back to me. And that video really should have gone into last week’s recap and would have made it 9,000 times funnier. But I failed all of us.

But here it is. Let’s all enjoy it. Everyone loves Bad Lip Reading.

You know, Carl Poppa is actually a pretty sweet jam. I’m getting all jiggy with it. And y’all should be glad I’m confining that to my house, where no one else has to see it.

Good times.

And now! The mid-season finale!

But first… there will be spoilers.

Yes, spoilers. ALWAYS spoilers.

Yes, spoilers. ALWAYS spoilers.

Come on, lady. We’ve talked about this. I know you’re dead and all. But it’s not that hard to understand. We do spoilers on PURPOSE in these recaps!

Okay. Midseason finale. Let’s do this. And then we can all move on with our lives.

90 minutes. Again.

One of the production companies on this show is called Idiot Box Productions. This makes me sad because I always thought my dad made that up when I was a kid. Like he was the only dad ever who called the television the “Idiot Box”. 

My dad would be so much cooler if he worked here.

My dad would be so much cooler if he worked here.

We open on Maggie, crying next to Glenn’s grave. She is wearing a hat and overalls. Probably a disguise. She seems to be on watch duty. The old Hilltop man comes over to say dickish things to her but then this other dude makes the old dude give her an apple because she’s pregnant, and Maggie bites into it with a smug smile on her face. 

Negan is shaving. In Rick’s bathroom. While Carl and Judith watch.

Daryl is leaving his cell.

Negan is making spaghetti sauce. In Rick’s kitchen. While Carl and Judith watch.

Tara and Olivia are on the porch. Tara gives Olivia a container of lemonade mix. Olivia is all taking one for the team and refuses to leave Judith, and goes inside.

Negan is at the head of the table making Carl set the table and wait on him. This is actually super fun!

Evil Rob points out the Morse code chart on the wall. This apparently means that Daryl has been communicating to Rick in Morse code all season by BLINKING.

Translation: Rick, I miss you. Please help.

Translation: Rick, I miss you. Please help.

Or so the internet claims.  You know what though? Sometimes the internet has been known to be wrong. 

Rick and Aaron are what? Going into the swamp of zombies? In a canoe. This’ll end well. Evil Rob reminds me that they are going after a stash of weapons and ammo hidden on the houseboat on the other side of the lake. Details, man. I can’t keep all this stuff straight AND know the character names too. 

Back to the table at Rick’s house.

That spaghetti though.

So akward. That spaghetti though.

Negan’s tired of waiting for Rick to come home. “Pass the rolls.” No response. “PLEASE.” Carl passes the rolls. He’s probably afraid of dying if he doesn’t. 

I want rolls. Specifically, I want those homemade crescent rolls my mom makes at Christmas, and sometimes at Easter. 

Mmmm crescent rolls. True story: I once made these for Christmas when my mom had a broken shoulder. I am so lazy though that I cant believe this really happened.

Mmmm crescent rolls. True story: I once made these for Christmas when my mom had a broken shoulder. I am so lazy though that I can’t believe this really happened.


Ads. What is Into the Badlands? Is it a show? Is it a good show? Should we be watching it? 

Oh, and a fun Nike ad mocking people for watching shows about zombies. It’s cool. I prefer Ahnu shoes for running from zombies anyway.

Spencer and Eugene are having some sort of thing with the Negan peeps at the front gate. Blandfaced white girl makes threats. It’s all very dull.

CAROL! Reading a book on the couch by the fireplace. Morgan is lurking in the front yard. She lets him come in. Some dude knocks on the door with some milk bottles. He has something very important to talk to them about. Carol is like, I JUST WANT TO READ MY DAMN BOOK!

picard book meme
Back to the WORST canoe trip ever. Guess what? It’s going very poorly. Aaron gets pulled into the water by zombies. Who could have predicted such a thing?

He’s okay though. Apparently.

True story: taking notes to write these recaps makes this shit go faster.

Back to Daryl, dashing through the halls. He hears voices close by and ducks into someone’s room. Eats some peanut butter straight from the jar with his fingers. Takes some clothes. I mean, that seems legit smart of him, but I’d recommend a haircut or a comb or something at this point too. Just to complete the disguise. 

Rick and Aaron have located the arms and ammo they crossed the swamp to find.

Back to Daryl. Now he has a spoon and is gazing at some weird chess set. He knocks it over. There are no photos I can find of this chess set, but it seems to anger him and it seems to be representative of whatever long game Negan and/or his people might be playing, or just generally keeping track of the other communities, or something.

Contemplating these things this hard hurts my heart and my brain. Let’s all look at Daryl for a moment.

Daryl smolders
Back to the swamp. Rick and Aaron are loading their truck and having a deep philosophical conversation about life and living. The camera cuts back and we see they are being watched by a mysterious figure wearing BLACK BOOTS. Who can it be? Because, like, everyone on this show wears black boots. 

Ads. This new Ben Affleck rum runner movie looks all right. Evil Rob and I talk about all the new movies we haven’t seen yet. This somehow leads to a discussion of Marion Cotillard. Because of Assassins Creed. We like her.

 

"I do not know what is this bu

“I do not know what is this bummer you speak of.” 

Between Cotillard and Fassbender, Assassin’s Creed might turn out to be an all right movie.

By the way, I’m super high strung right now because my laptop is broken and I have to watch tv without it. I hate this.

Now back to Michonne in the truck with the lady with the bad dye job. Michonne wants to chitchat but the lady is like, nah.

Michonne monologues about not killing today, finding a way to win, etc. I’m not sure if I should be paying super close attention but it’s kind of boring so I tune out a bit.  

Back to Maggie and Rosita at Hilltop. And Enid. Snore. Agent Peggy Carter’s hat is hanging on the wall of their apartment. What??

Rosita charges Enid with keeping Maggie safe. This is… I don’t know. Everyone wants to go out and kill Negan, is basically the gist. 

Back in Carol’s house, the milk bringer is talking about threats to the Kingdom by the Saviors. He wants Carol and Morgan to use their wiles to convince Ezekiel to battle the Saviors.

Strike first. Destroy them.

Terrible idea.

Absolutely terrible.

More ads. Super tired of the iPhone ad with the old dude in the white swim trunks.

Ooh Norman Reedus will be on tonight’s Talking Dead.

That’s like a lifetime from now though.

It only just occurred to me that I could do this in Google Docs instead of Evernote.

AAAAAANYWAY.

Rosita is in the church talking to the priest about killing Negan. I hate his character so much I can never remember his name.

The conversation is so boring I’m just sitting here gazing at my Christmas tree. It’s super pretty.

My mom decorated this for me. I am highly unqualified for a tree to look this nice.

My mom decorated this for me. I am highly unqualified for a tree to look this nice if I decorate it myself.

They are still talking. The priest is like, please don’t go on a suicide mission. Rosita is like, crying.

Daryl still making his way through the halls. He picks up a piece of steel bar. I assume it’s a piece of steel bar. Alternatively, it might be a long light fixture, like for your apartment kitchen’s overhead light. But I’m pretty sure it’s a steel bar. 

Back at Carol’s house, she is refusing to fight. She just wants to be left alone. The Kingdom guy is trying to manipulate Morgan. He storms out. Carol tells Morgan to not let anyone else know where she is.

Seriousl y Episode 8 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Seriously just leave me alone with this terrible artwork and my BOOK.    Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

I assume they will both find out about Glenn and Abraham any time now and change their minds. Probably in February when the season resumes and Rick… well. I’m getting ahead of my spoilers. Hang on.

Ads. I like the Xfinity ads where the grandparents see their granddaughters status on Facebook or whatever about how lame their house is so they get cable and wifi and then the whole family has a super happy Christmas watching tv and playing video games together. My husband Evil Rob is all, “Grandma and Grandpa will be eating cat food for the rest of their days to pay their Comcast bill, not to mention what Paul Ryan has in store for their Social Security checks, but enjoy your WiFi, Paige!” 

Fair point.

Horrifying looking movie called Split comes out on Inauguration Day. Never has a thing felt so appropriate.

Back to the show. Spencer is in his house acting all batshit, talking to himself in the mirror.

The Kingdom guy who wants to start a war is in the forest. And then he goes into a camper and cries? I don’t get this.

Spencer and Rosita have words. He wants to know why she ended their fling. She refuses to tell him how creepy he is, and makes dinner plans with him. “No strings attached.” Ew. 

Finally Daryl is outside. Fat Joseph appears and sees Daryl and looks scared and tells him how to get out. Daryl smashes him with the steel bar as Jesus comes running over from… wherever he was hiding.

Didn’t I call the death of Fat Joseph last week?

Another installment of Passage. The women are in the tunnel. One runs and sets off a trigger and an explosion happens. You know, I could really use a full minute of this instead these 30-second tidbits.

Ooh, AMC network puts up a graphic violence warning before the next scene begins! This can’t be good for someone. 

Back to Michonne and Bad Dye Lady. They come over the crest of a hill and there is a whole lot of stuff happening down in a valley and the lady says that is the Negan place. And that Michonne can’t do what she wants to do. But still has options, like killing Bad Dye Lady using the silencer in the glove compartment and sinking the truck in the lake or something.

I assume Michonne chooses at least one option that does involve her killing someone today.

Rick and Aaron show up in their truck and Negan’s people at the gate find all the stuff they found. Please tell me they had the sense to hide some of it somewhere. Then they beat up Aaron, just for fun.

Meanwhile Spencer and Negan are drinking whiskey and playing pool while everyone else watches. Spencer wants Negan to make him in charge of Alexandria.

Rick picks Aaron up to help him walk home.

Negan isn’t impressed with Spencer’s proposal. And says Spencer has no guts. And then stabs him in the gut. And it turns out Spencer did have guts.

Then Negan is all, someone better clean this up. No one comes forward. Then he holds up Lucille and asks who wants to finish the game of pool, which he was winning.

Check out this nice close shave, guys!

Check out this nice close shave, guys!

Rosita pulls out a gun and shoots.

Ads! Rogue One!

Rick still dragging Aaron. They hear the gunshot.

Rosita’s bullet hit Lucille. Negan is all, tell me who made this bullet. Rosita insists it was her. Negan tells the one woman (Farat?? Wtf is her name??) to kill someone. She shoots Olivia.

Arat, Evil Rob tells me. That is Negan’s henchwoman’s name.

Rick and Aaron finally run up. Negan is all, I killed Spencer as a public service. Blah blah blah.

Finally Eugene cops to making the bullet.  So Negan takes him with them. I doubt this means certain death for Eugene. Instead he will be forced to make bullets for Negan. And stuff.

Rick is left standing alone by the pool table and Dead Spencer. Spencer is already turning into a zombie and Rick probably takes some pleasure in stabbing the shit out of his face.

Ads. War for the Planet of the Apes! These movies are so good. This one looks tense and scary. Evil Rob and I vote for the apes.

Here is what I don’t get about this show, and shows in general: I feel like people communicate more than this. Like, not perfectly, but we all manage to figure out when every last one of us is on the same page. So all these people want to take Negan out but are all acting independently because they don’t communicate. And it’s dumb. So dumb.

Also, Better Call Saul is coming back soon! Yay!

Back to the show. Rick is kneeling in a basement. Michonne shows up. She tells him how outnumbered they are, but that it doesn’t change how she feels. They are still alive. They survived so much. Their hearts are still beating. So what do they do with that? How do they make it mean something?

Basically she is giving him a pep talk. They have to fight. For Judith and Carl and everyone else. But he has to get his head out of his ass. (She says that with her eyes, mostly.) It is times like this that this show is so good. When people get to say things about making things mean things. 

Rick’s all, “I know.”

And then they make out.

Back to Maggie at Glenn’s grave again. She climbs up the watch tower.

 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

She sees something that makes her smile. And yells for Sasha and Enid to come. And they open the gates. 

It’s Rick and Michonne and Carl and Tara and Rosita.

And then Daryl and Jesus come around a corner and I cry.

I ain’t lying.

Rick and Daryl hug it out hard.

There wasnt a photo of the epic hug

There wasn’t a photo of the epic hug anywhere but I did find some random beautiful fan art on a listicle (uncredited, of course, so if anyone knows who it belongs to, tell us). This is actually not a terrible representation of how the hug went even though this predates tonight’s episode by years. Thanks, fandom!  

And Daryl gives Rick the gun he took off Fat Joseph. The sheriff is back in town, you guys. 

Everyone smiles but Jesus. He just looks upset and worried. Whatever, Jesus. Stop being so serious all the damn time.

Night shot of Alexandria ends the show. Father Gabriel is on the watch bridge and the spy in the boots is watching.

Dun dun dunnnn!

This was a good episode. Finally.

That’s a wrap till February. The second half of the season HAS to be better, what with Rick and Co having all kinds of fight in them once again. And we see scenes of Rick appealing to Ezekiel to team up. Wonder how that’ll go. 

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I will miss the adorable Ann Mahoney though. So unfair. 

Sexy Librarian Ann would let Carol sit and read undisturbed.

Sexy Librarian Ann would let Carol sit and read undisturbed.